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Andrea

The echo of an empty hall
White shadows on the placid wall
A waft of she, departs from breeze
And corner eye I chance to see
Complacent lips, that part for me

Then mind by strings turns body 'round
Her blushing cheeks, my heart had found
And without thought are bodies pressed
In embrace our souls took rest
Her gentle whole my hands carress...

 

For seconds time we just exist

And bask within eternal  bliss

 




 

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Chocoholic156
    January 21
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem, but, as I have read before, this poem seems to be written from the boys perspective and this is supposed to be for a card written TO the boyfriend, not the other way around. I'm sorry, but this doesn't exactly work for my contest. Good job, and thank you for entering my contest, and keep writing!


  • azure85 gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful poem with a lovely rhyming pattern thoughout. A good use of the prompt, thank you so much.


  • Wolfdog silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    'Tis a fine romantic write, with just the right hint of sensuality. You express your ideas quite well. Thanks for sharing.


    • Justin Stone
      January 12
      Edit | Reply
      Eh my friend wanted to write a poem for his gf. So, I had to dumb down my usual writing so it sound like him. Its not my favorite. Check out chance my ultimate alliteration poem.