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bittersweet.

i.

I have sandpaper skin while you have jail-cell eyes.

we were a perfect match,
when you busied yourself
trying to lock me in your gaze
I simply escaped through the grate
in the form of sand-grains.

ii.

we were both puzzle pieces,
complicated with holes in every shape,
every form and on every side.

I was jagged and uneven
while you were circular,
and smooth.

circumventing my hands
like two similar charges;
I couldn’t find force to
get over your gravity.

- you’ll never understand how my mind works.

iii.

we appeared perfect to outsiders.
but I knew, like all stars that 

eventually fade -

we were no exception.

iv.

our stories soon untwined
and separated, we walked
away in two opposite directions.
you never looked back, but
I still sneaked a glance or two
your way.

I’ll never forget you.

Author notes

I'll never forget you.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • new born
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    circumventing my hands
    like two similar charges;
    I couldn’t find force to
    get over your gravity.

    - you’ll never understand how my mind works.

    my absolute favorite lines. free verse is definitely your strong suit.
    when was this written? the contests have february to march...
    if it was written in feb., you've come a long way in a few months. great job, though.


    • etoile
      March 22
      Edit | Reply
      january 12 lol
      thanks
      i think i'm getting worse though.. if that's possible :S


  • Manoj Sanyal
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    a poem with love, separation and feelings....
    but the line "jail-cell eyes" ... some mistake?... I have to rethink and re-read.
    Good luck and best wishes,

  • cherrytree
    February 7

    Edit | Reply

    our stories soon untwined
    and separated, we walked
    away in two opposite directions.
    you never looked back, but
    I still sneaked a glance or two
    your way.

    I’ll never forget you

    this is amazing

    i love the endng, it really wraps up the piece

    i love you emma <3 

  • ElectricBloom
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    the first line is pure perfection. it really awed me and pulled me into the rest of the poem.
    i love this, it's beautiful.
    gorgeous imagery throughout, i was able to paint vivid pictures in my head. i wish i could pick out some favorite lines, but i love everything about this.

    congrats on the bronze, well deserved
    amazing work.

    ElectricBloom


  • And Hyetal
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I love the descriptions in this, the comparisons. I really like the addition of these lines:

    'I still sneaked a glance or two
    your way.'

    This was well-written and emotional.

    ~Cassie


  • Talk To Arson13
    January 15

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Love this great work, if "love" doesn't last its not really love though we sometime hope it would be


  • aanika
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    we appeared perfect to outsiders.
    but I knew, like all stars that
    eventually fade -

    we were no exception.

    this is gorgeous, emu.
    one of your best, i think.

    I absolutely loved it.


  • letters to no one
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    This, this is amazing.

    It reminds me so much of mine who I'll never forget, but I can't even glance in his direction anymore - I don't know where he is...

    The imagery in this is magnificent and it is so personal, but even though it's personal it doesn't make me feel like I'm reading your diary and intruding.

    "we were both puzzle pieces,
    complicated with holes in every shape,
    every form and on every side."

    ^^,


    "iii.

    we appeared perfect to outsiders.
    but I knew, like all stars that

    eventually fade -

    we were no exception."

    Wow.

    I love the reference to stars - one of my favourite things.

    I really, REALLY like this.

    Good luck in the contest,
    ILY and your writings

    Shelly
    xxx


  • snakebites
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    i couldn't pick a favorite line or stanza. i really loved this, one of your best pieces ever. i loved the words used especially;

    "I have sandpaper skin while you have jail-cell eyes."

    perfectly written, well done.

1 - 15 of 15