A hush fell like whispers in the cool air.
The bold children pushed each other on a dare,
knowing all too well they’d get a good scare,
for hidden in the deep, dark cavern lived a bear.
Now she was no ordinary bear sleeping unaware.
She lay patiently waiting for one without a prayer;
just one to wander too close to the front of her lair.
She could sniff them getting closer, almost there!
She excitedly licked her chops and groomed her hair.
Soon there’d be a banquet to which none could compare.
Crackling leaves and sticks, she looked up with a stare!
It was him! Little boy! Eyes big and wide, full of despair!
Peeking around for the other bears, as she wasn’t gonna share,
she let out a growl, grabbed the boy and threw him in a chair.
But just as she was about to eat him up, along ran past a hare.
“Run, boy, snare me that hare! I prefer him to you! Medium rare!”
In a list
A contest entry
- Play With Rhyme by Poetess12.
700 points, ended January 13, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give A Smile by faded dreams.
1000 points, ended January 30, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh My Socks Off! by LonelyAngel.
900 points, ended November 7, 115 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Haha! This was funny! I really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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"She excitedly licked her chops and groomed her hair.
Soon there’d be a banquet to which none could compare."
great rhyming.
thanks for entering,
good luck -
"She excitedly licked her chops and groomed her hair.
Soon there’d be a banquet to which none could compare.
Crackling leaves and sticks, she looked up with a stare!
It was him! Little boy! Eyes big and wide, full of despair!"
These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
-heva ♫
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that was very entertaining I was really sucked into it
The Positives:
I WAS KINDA FREAKED OUT THERE FOR AWHILE LOL You really have some great rhyming going on here
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
Now she was no ordinary bear sleeping unaware.
She lay patiently waiting for one without a prayer;
just one to wander too close to the front of her lair.
She could sniff them getting closer, almost there!
that was so great
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
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I love the end. The rhyming is great as is the story. It kept my interest from beginning to end. Thank you for entering.
(wabbit season) -
Well done, thank you for such a wonderful entry. I'd say being in the country, he's done his share of hunting and hiding from wild animals. Best of luck
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I just loved this -- scary right up to the end -- perfect for sleepovers and campouts! Well-done.
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This is tooo cute
I so enjoyed this little ditty...mac
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This is a cute poem.
It made me smile.
I really like the last line of your poem.
Thank you very much for your entry
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l.o.l.
i was pretty afraid for the kid for awhile! l.o.l. ..poor mr wabbit..hehe..
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The poor hare...
Leave it to me to be worried about the hare, OK already...
I hope the boy gets away too!
This was cute and whimsical.
Adding your comment:
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