[ I'm living a lie, ]

I'm living a lie,
I'm pregnant,
and  the father is the bastard who raped me,
I can't change that,
I love this baby,
and this child doesn't deserve to be put into the middle,
its an innocent child,
and I can't traumatize my son or daughter like that,
I love this one guy,
and he knows how I feel, but theres nothing he can do to change what has happened.
I know that I should be the one to blame,
but I can't change the past,
and I wouldn't if I could,
I am getting a beautiful baby out of this,
it doesn't matter where the baby came from,
I'm living my life to the best that I can,
I'm going to school,
I'm trying to take care of myself,
I'm doing the best I can to prove myself,
but there's only so much I can do.
I love this man,
and I know that he knows that,
but he will never be able to accept any of this,
and I don't blame him,
I talk to him only seldomly,
I don't have the time,
I love HIM,
and I love my baby,
but I can't and won't choose between the two,
I hope he can understand,
and I hope he can accept me for who and what I am.
I love Him..