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Beneath the Slinking Snake

Missing image

A shriveled heart, a mind consumed, a soul that twists and turns,

A life o’erwhelmed drifts in the lurch, forgetting all it’s learned.

Depression churns, our life is spent, the pinball flashes, "TILT."

We slide beneath the slinking snake, and all because of guilt.

The anchor heavy on the neck, the chains drag at the feet,

The bondage of the heart and soul make life seem incomplete.

When hidden deep within, denied, it festers and destroys –

When dealt with and when understood it leads to lasting joys.

O destiny that chooses me, with no escape in sight,

That destiny accuses me, and haunts me through the night.

Futility and emptiness, a hollowness inside,

Results when culpability and innocence collide.

It lingers like a winter fog, and masks the world around.

A chilling dampness overwhelms, it feels we’re underground.

The head hangs low and bows the neck, an unrelenting weight

That wraps a life in dismal time, and dictates inner hate.

As termites eat a house’s frame, destruction from within,

If left untreated guilt devours, imagined or true sin.

But dealt with and dispatched at last, a psyche is set free,

And life returns with all its hope to be what it can be.

Author notes

Interesting subject this!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    nicely done! I even enjoyed the rhyme since you've written so well!
    best of luck

    Love, light & laughter
    Tasha


  • Ishtar
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    Teehee, I had KC read this, I think. Or maybe you had him read it. Either way, he read it and I said: SO THERE!

    Ok! I am going to try my best to write that sonnet you had asked me to write. Or at least some sort of form poetry so I can write nearly as well as you do.
    First, you will have to give me a tutorial on metre.
    Deal?



    -Reni

  • Judith Chandler
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    I like the internal rhymes and "culpability and innocence collide" really caught my attention.

    So well written and perceptive.

  • Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. As usual, imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.

  • Alright, as soon as I saw "dark," I knew I *had* to read this.

    I enjoyed the imagery you put in this, as well as the pinball metaphor in the beginning. The rhymes don't seem forced at all (yes, I know pretty much all your poems are like that, which is one thing I really like about your writing) and the rhythm is very good. I like the ending. I really felt what you managed to write, Papa P. It's nice to see this side of you.

    Well done, OFPD (yes, I still remember).

    xxx
    GGB


  • Veronica Leigh
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    wow, first of all I was blown away. This is incredible! I can't believe the comment below me, to each his own I guess.

    Good job, you're amazing


  • Danna Hobart
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    I am sorry, but I don't feel any real depth in this poem. You just skim across the top of the subject. There is nothing real in here, just sort of an exploration of guilt, no true anguish is felt.


  • suseann
    January 12

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    Will the exemplary shadow's spread of your

    talented pen ever cease? I for one,

     certainly hope not!

    This is beautiful in the sheerest sense

     of the word.

    Especially potant inclusion of the

    real or imagined guilt.This piece cuts

    directly to the heart of the matter of "guilt".

     

1 - 8 of 8