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Mind Games

Inside my mind are statues built to honor you
this is not detail friendly, but it's so overdue.
I've placed furniture that I've built to your delight.
Fantasies, acknowledged, but it's lonely at night.
So, with coffee installed, I hope you'll pass through
I'd just love to spend some moments alone with you.

Author notes

Lost in the fantasy of my mind

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • ah the mind, we can travel wherever we desire to go and be with anyone wie wish to, all in the mind, a good piece.


  • Denerica
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    Waiting with expectant hope in this nice ryhmed short and sweet write, and grasping the internal part of the mind with it's thought pattern. Awesome. Blessings.


  • stavykm gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    You are a brilliant writer. Such depth with so few words really. Oh those thoughts in our minds. Oh to be lost in the fantasies of the mind can be fabulous or not so fabulous if you know what I mean...LOL...Best wishes in the contest my dear friend.

    Blessings,
    Much Love,
    Kelle Marie


    • 2lullabyhaven
      January 18
      Edit | Reply
      Believe it or not...smile...I most definitely know what you mean...I'm working on it right now lol


  • whitenoise
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    a good rhyme here a nice short poem that hides a teeling truth to someone so painully unaware, i would remove the first just in the last line though, i really liked the second to last line
    so simple but so telling
    "so, with coffee installed, i hope you'll pass through"
    well done

    white
    xx


  • BonnieQ silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply

    Short & Bitter Sweet

    This is beautifully written, dear one; in a few words you packed quite a punch to someone obviously oblivious to those things done for him or her by another. Definitely a winner here!

    I would suggest removing the redundancy in the last line: just. . . just. Exchange one with another word that will maintain your meter. Repeating words in one line, especially 'just,' tends to create a hissing sound thus distracting.

    Luv & Hugs, BonnieQ


    • 2lullabyhaven
      January 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, BonnieQ, for your help in my poetical endeavors, I am so in need, I will fix it nowlol


  • Melodies
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Cleverness, oh my YES! An inviting poem that comes with lots of smiles to supply the lucky reader.


    • 2lullabyhaven
      January 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Melodies, I am just enjoying poetry, so I just have at it sometimes

1 - 10 of 10