Gone is the heat of our passion,
gone are feelings of compassion.
We wake up together, alone.
When did our hearts turn to stone?
Our lives have become austere;
where do we go from here?
Author notes
Prompt: doubt
Picture Credit: http://crapcore.deviantart.com/art/Together-alone-17974550
35 words
A contest entry
- Quickie Write by carole21.
1100 points, ended January 14, 2009, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Stunning
Stunning write! I actually sat here after reading this stunned and awed that someone could capture such a complicated process of life in so few words and make a person feel so much. Thank you for such a beautiful write. I aspire to write this well.
Jo
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Well the situation is still the Gold worthy my friend..thanks for sharing..and congrtulation as well...
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Congratulations on the Gold Trophy. what a sad poem that you've written. I am sure that there are many who can relate to this piece. it's sad when love ends up like this
kat
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a nice love write . . thanks for the contest entry
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A sad questioning.
I can relate to this from past experience, and I'm sure others will also relate to this write.
"We wake up together, alone"....this one line says so much..revealing the depth of feeling .. distance and hollowness.
Very well done..I could really feel the emotion of this write.
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Love what you did here! Alot said in a quickie and I enjoyed it! Great job and good luck hon
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hmmm, aheart-stopping write. seems to prevent all natural reasons for love... Nice one. Good luck in the contest!!
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