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Unfamiliar

We fall back on the dark,
Where hope diminshes amongst the spark,
Of an aggrevated mind,
And me and you and us and we,
Are nothing but a part of a part,
Of this sweet tasting blackness,
That wraps around our tender limbs,
Leaving us tangled together,
In a sick symbolistic skit of death love dying living surviving sex preying,
But I can't remove my mouth from yours,
Or stop touching your skin,
Slick with both of our sweat,

This sensation unlike any other,

Strange twisted comfortably uncomfortable,

Sends me wanting into your arms,

Wishing I could crawl inside you inside this darkness,

And lick your ribcage from the inner depths of your body.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • hisaddiction gold member
    January 19, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    very sensual...nice background


  • hawkeslake gold member
    January 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of a wonderfully trashy book I'm reading about Carpathians who "go to ground" when they sleep together after wild sex! This is really well written and vividly descriptive. I think you mean "your" not "your're" in the last line, but that's about the only thing I'd change! Really a great read!


  • XXxFAKExXx
    January 12, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful write!