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The Scene

Chalky broken clouds

look down upon the

lush green valley below.

 

Crayon colored mountains

fill up the scene, making

one majestic back drop.

 

The clouds touch the

mountain tops playfully

then scatter away.

 

Whatever is happening

on earth down below

where man and angel dominate?

 

An angel bows 

over a stream

and peers deep within...

 

...a golden star bursts abruptly...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

I'd like some feedback.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Ken-Maverick
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    I like this just the way it is,
    you write fantasy well poetess, wonderfully penned
    All the best to you in the contest

    Ken


  • ShelleyA gold member
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    A good write and interpretation of the picture prompt. Good imagery, flow and tone. Vivid descriptives. Very nice depth of feeling. Good word choice, alliteration and nice assonance. Word count: 60 (note whatever is one word). Thank you for your entry.


  • Samplette gold member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely and decriptive piece of poetry. When I first looked at the picture, I was blind to the wings...Best to you in the contest.
    Sam