All dignity is beauty.
Though grace can be displaced;
A memory tho interfaced
Will forever follow me.
Doppelganger, Doppelganger; Is that you I see?
Forget our broken promises, apparently they're shit.
Loving me was not easy.
I guess I should finally get it.
Sometimes I wish you'd leave me be,
Then I know I should accept,
The face of those you will neglect.
Responsibilities assigned to both,
In love and thoughts without an Oath.
I guess in time I'll due see,
If you could come to think.
Or one day picture, imagine me as I sink.
I believe I still need you, to truly be me.
Doppelganger, doppelgagner.
Ghost within my head, my bad,
The picture hung, that burns like anger.
I know now can't be had.
Author notes
Doppelganger.. It is a ghostly figure of oneself or "true" being, in this I am referring to my ex. who was basically me, just a guy.
Plus, the doppelganger was a bringer of bad luck in olden days so yeah.. put two and two together you get blue!
A contest entry
- something more by halfpast4ever.
650 points, ended February 24, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i like your poem, but your form is confusing. i feel like i caught up with you then you lost me again. i also feel like your ryhme was forced.
Doppelganger, Doppelganger; Is that you I see?
Forget our broken promises, apparently they're shit.
Loving me was not easy.
I guess I should finally get it.
again like i said on the contest page, cussing isnt necessary i believe that it takes the beauty of a poem away, although your poem and rhyme got me, the poem itself was really good, but i feel like you could have put something better here, something that fit better and added more beauty to your poem then taking it away
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It's just hard to concentrate on the form, but your write was delicious on its own! Wish to Moses and the saints I was 19!!! And had purple hair, well, hell, any hair! ~ G
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yeah true.
eh.
well poop. i got confusedd
i still like it.
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I really like your poem, it has good emotion and feeling in it. . . but it isn't exactly a rondel. You can refer to the contest page and the example if you're confused about the formatting. . . the first two lines are supposed to be a refrain that appears throughout the poem, and the rhyme is supposed to pull from those two lines only.
Non-contest comments: I like your use of doppelganger to describe your ex, very creative, and it gives a great quality to the poem. I really do like this piece, it just isn't quite a rondel.
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