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Trapped

Trapped in this place,
and the walls are closing in,
with floor made of ice
that continues to thin.

It gets harder to breathe
as the tiny room shrinks;
"It's not a big deal,"
everyone seems to think.

The floor slowly melts
to drown me in waters below,
created from tears I've cried
from experiences long ago.

Walls keep moving in,
now pressing on my chest,
I finally give up fighting,
and let fate handle the rest.

The floor is less than an inch,
the walls are both against me,
but when I stopped fighting,
they begin to set me free.

The walls spread back,
and the floor begins to freeze,
all of the pressure is gone,
and I can finally be at ease.

Author notes

still editing


http://allpoetry.com/poem/4109585 - Remember

OTHER ENDING [[about a totally different topic than the stanza above]]:

The walls spread back,
and the tears froze solid,
and if they ever close again,
I will do what I just did.

Earlier, I kept fighting my fate,
for what I selfishly wanted,
if I had let my fate take it's course,
I never would have been haunted.


ANOTHER ENDING:

The walls spread back,
and the tears freeze solid,
someone must have been helping,
I don't know why they did.


Which ending should i keep?


well...originally [[before both of these endings]] this was about something totally different. but then it just kinda took a sharp right [[then a left?]], so i just went with the flow because nothing rhymed with what i had planned on it being about. lol. so im going to have to write a free-verse for my original topic.

Missa

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Comments


  • heavenbird
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    I think I like the original ending better. =]

    This was really good, though I think you could've maybe brought more emotion to the piece, thus making it more frightening.
    All in all, good work!

    best of luck,
    Angela. =]

  • heavenbird
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, alright. =]
    That's fine!
    If you want to know what prose is, look at some of Aanika's work or some of my latest poems.
    =]

    Can't wait!

  • heavenbird
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Okay, thanks so much for actually following the rules.
    xP
    Gosh, I've had to remind EVERYONE.
    Haha.
    Um, let's seeeee.

    1. Forbidden love.
    2. A love poem in a form you don't usually use. I don't have many prose writers entered, and I'd love to see some prose. =]
    3. Write something that'll terrify me. In one way or another.
    =]


    Hope those work!


    • Missa
      January 11
      Edit | Reply
      sorry, i don't know how to write prose. but i'll try to do my best with the other two options.