throw me against a flat brick wall:
I want there to be nothing
for me to cling onto
but you; and when
I scream until I cannot breathe
you'll make airholes in my neck -
I want to taste you when you go down
like slime in the alleyway
you leave me in.
~~~
Author notes
oh naw. xD
the color of the background is 'kidnapper', the color I chose.
In a list
A contest entry
- Hues of Green in 12 Lines or Less (there's a catch) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended January 28, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
of course that's how you're supposed to feel.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I think you should put this in the abuse/adult cateogry so that children cannot read it, it's a bit graphic. An interesting take on the prompt though
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Vivid imagery. There is a grit in your words that belies your years. Again the fresh choice of words, the unique view, the effective understatement. Just excellent.
Garrison
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Um...
hi
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Did you like it or did you not, that is the question?
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of course i liked it!
i wasn't expecting it to end like that..
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Wow! I thought this was a passionate love poem but you surprised me at the end. I love poetic surprises. You are so very talented!
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you!
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You scare me in a good way, but you still scare me. -backs away-
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You're the one that has conversations with Mr. Crowbar.
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I also scare myself.
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this is wayy intense for you to be wantin', chickie
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oh dear. It's not true.
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dark and dismal my sis as your best are
best of luck
love you -
Love those last 4 lines.
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Hopefully you don't really want someone to do this to you...hopefully. I like the examples you use to inform us of your desires and of the inimical center in which your whole poem revolves on. Still, I cannot imagine myself screaming until I stop breathing; grandy way of expressing oneself. Good job on the whole thing, you are a excellent writer! I'm low on points so if I remember or someone reminds me...I'll come back and add.
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Thanks for your comment!
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Oh my I don't know if you intended this to be hot but it is extremely tasty
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I don't think I did but when I read it over, I went 'oh'.
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hehe well it's not a bad thing
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