A twinkle in your laughing eyes
the easy way you smile
reasons for my loving you
linger for awhile.
Sunny days and quiet nights
music and romance
bonds between two lovers
entangled in the dance.
I tried to be the person
you hoped I'd come to be
And though I loved you deeply
I hungered to be free.
Don't shed a tear for me
when next you wake at dawn
reaching out for something
and find my body gone.
While leaving pains me greatly
regrets I'll have a few
like the southern winds of summer
I was simply passing thru.
A contest entry
- Of Love and Longing... by SithHappens.
1750 points, ended January 28, 2009, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Nice
Nice flow, simple but pleasant rhymes... nice effort
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Very well written. The emotion comes through very well. Very beautiful.
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very lovely
THank you for your entry
~Sithy -
very nice... the flow was great and there was not one flaw... Your friend in poetrylll Jackreed3
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Brilliant
I can identify with this really well. There is an easy flow to this. Simple. Effective.
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WOW!!! and I thought It was ugly for me to say no to the 1 I loved or knew for a very long time..I can relate so much to this write...the best part was I was angry at myself for a long time to have done that but reading this makes me feel Yes I was just passing thru...
Love it and thanks for sharing -
WOW!!! and I thought It was ugly for me to say no to the 1 I loved or knew for a very long time..I can relate so much to this write...the best part was I was angry at myself for a long time to have done that but reading this makes me feel Yes I was just passing thru...
Love it and thanks for sharing
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interesting and very well done.
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hahaha.. nice light poem... i thought it was going to lead to "forever kind of love" and so it took me by surprise..and the last line just takes the cake.. "passing through" !!! Fantastic poem.
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My
Perhaps a little song in the making. That summer wind. Oh poet a part of life's story that truly makes a poet what he/she can be. Always a pleasure to read.
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Ouch
It started so nice and sweet then ended so...for lack of a better word...bittersweetly. Great job.
"I tried to be the person
you hoped I'd come to be"
I think these two lines could warrant an entire 30 line poem in themselves. Very meaningful. The two follow up lines complement them well. Again, well done. -
Passing through like the winds of summer. Yes, I'll go along with that, I have done it, not without regret, but freedom calls. I can relate to this poem more than once in my younger days when freedom had another meaning. Very well written poem.
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