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Miracles of the Future

Mark was a bright and healthy boy who was hardly ever ill,
that was until one autumn day, whilst climbing up a hill.
He became so weak and helpless was forced to sit and rest,
a visit to the doctors  who said he’ll need some tests.

The tests then proved  positive his kidneys were very weak,
they said he must  be dialised three times every week.
This went on for quite some time and Mark was so depressed,
the once bright and healthy boy was a regular hospital guest.

Time went on and Mark was placed on the long transplant list,
Ma and Pa as “blood relations”were approached by the specialist.
To donate one of their kidneys that  they would not normally decline,
unknown to Mark he was an adopted child of a different blood line.

Now Mark was disapointed and he sorely wondered why,
the folks he loved so dearly by choice would let him die.
The parents had no option to tell Mark  the reason they,
couldn’t donate their kidneys that ,that was the delay.

Mark was totally  dumbfounded at this double shock,
said you never would have told me if I wasn’t such a crock.
The dialasis continued and Mark became resigned,
to stay for ever on this machine while life left him behind

Then providence took over, to his sad parents delight,
a letter from a famous surgeon,to asking if he might.
Use experimental stem cell surgery on their little boy,
and maybe bring a new life to their little pride and joy.

And as they thought there’s nought to lose gave the go ahead,
and tried hard to be cheerful as they told Mark in his bed.
The operation day came round the atmosphere was tense,
the parents waited anxiously held in such suspense.

Eventually the surgeon appeared and smilingly he said,
  “Folks  history’s been made today Dialasis is dead.
        Your little boy’s got no borrowed kidneys,
                    he’s got his own instead.”
.





Author notes

J U D M C....Dont Die Live Life

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Over Zenith
    October 4

    Edit | Reply
    You've written this exquisitely! Flows so easy, and tells a tale at a wonderful pace. Job very well done, I have to say. Amazing what we're capable of!

  • trekker02
    October 1

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    It's amazing how wonderful our modern world is, that allows a story like you've said here. I found the final two lines especially poignant, for it really concludes both the poem and the story nicely. Thank you for sharing.

  • SternBlinkin
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyming was well done. the flow had this sing-song like character that I liked and really enjoy this line and where that sing-song sort of stumbled as they told Mark his was adopted: "The parents had no option to tell Mark the reason they,
    couldn’t donate their kidneys that ,that was the delay." Very well used.
    It is a very good write, but it is not about conception nor pregnancy, so it doesn't really apply to this contest unfortunatly. But I did very much enjoy the read and you did a wonderful job. I personally became very ill as a child and my parents choose to give a go ahead as well that saved my life. So your poem those not really for this contest was very much appreciated. Thank you for submitting.

  • Judith Chandler
    June 19
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    Congrats on previous submissions. This is quite inspiring. The trials people go through.

    Thank you for entering my contest.

  • Judith Chandler
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    An original take on the hospital stay theme. Congrats on previous trophies and thank your for entering this contest.

  • Judith Chandler
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed your write. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Would that your poetic creation could be translated to medical reality! All in good time maybe

    Thanks very much for an excellent read, and good luck


  • MoonStarRaven
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting poem it flowed and rhymed very well. Congrats on the trophy.

  • Tempa Lee
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    you as well entered this poem in quite a few contests. but it's a good poem overall. i really liked it.


    ~Dani~

  • Vera Rich gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting - but for the show we are planning we need poems about health care as it is today - not how it may be in the future... And do please note: the word is spelt dialysis!


  • HereComesTheSun
    April 12

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    i love how you wrote this in a fantastic story form that really grabs the reader and pulls emotion out of us
    thanks for entering


  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 30

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    This was wonderful
    but this contest is
    for gold-trophy winners
    only and you've won Honorable mention.

    Sorry but i will have to remove your
    entry as you did not follow rules.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    I love the miraculous ending to this story
    Miracles happen every day for God is so very good to us
    Thank you for sharing this
    May God bless you, my friend

    • judmc
      March 28
      Edit | Reply

      Heavenly Angel

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Miracles of the Future" so glad you like it.Best Wishes...George...


  • Nostalgia
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    This was a really awesome poem. Thanks.


  • Haiku-bless-you gold member
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    George, Thank you for sharing this story of a miracle. We live in an amazing age, and have witnessed new treatment and cures. Thanks for sharing this poem in our Bandit activity.

    Brother Dennis


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that is amazing that the boy didn't have to go through dialysis anymore. Child diabeates is awlfl. My friend has adult diabeates and is going through dialysis.


  • dustookie2
    January 21

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    This is indeed a sad story but there is the shining light at the end. Amazing just how far we have come thanks to medical research. I know my daughter had her shots of what the nurses called a 'miracle drug' that was 16 years ago. The story being told in detail is incredible .... the lines rhyme but as I read them again I wonder how it would read with some of the padding removed....we all use those 'little words' ...making it a tighter... you need to just be aware of flow in some areas. 'couldn’t donate their kidneys that ,that was the delay.' Errors we all make but do detract from your work and the readers thoughts...it is a wonderful story to be told very inspirational and uplifting... Thank you so much for sharing Good luck in the contest.

  • piccola silver member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    Nice to have a happy ending. I've read this before and think it might have been entered in one of my other contests awhile back. Thank you for entering again.

    • judmc
      January 20
      Edit | Reply

      piccola

      Thanks for your comments on "Miracles of the Future since it was only written on january 11th it's impossible for you to have seen it before
      and I havn't written anything on the same subject before either so it
      must be Telepathy. Happy new Obama...George....


  • echo-ink
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    I've acually read this a couple of times before now, this is one of the most heart-wrenching poems I've ever read, and every time I read it, I cry, not all sad stories end sad, this one has a happy miracle.


  • BonnieQ silver member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    God is Good!

    What a wonderful miracle for this chosen son of yours. Indeed, our Lord often works in mysterious ways but always to our good and as a test that we should hope to ace.

    I would humbly point out that there are several misspelled words, such as untill/until. Also, unless punctuation is used properly, it is better to use none at all, in which case each line would begin with a capital letter. For pauses within a line, one can use elipsis ( . . . ) for a pause in dialogue, or an M dash (Ctrl Alt - on the keypad) for pauses in text.

    Nevertheless, this is a great poem that should give many hope where they might have had none.

    Luv & Hugs, BonnieQ

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