Pressed beeping buttons
taunt in treadmill time.
Ticking forward
against preset programs
which slowly unwind
in quick-start patterns.
Appearing customized.
Souls traveling like shoes
Walking a route
of redundant views.
The shuffling ipod
plays “Déjà vu”.
Devoid of distance
odometer miles cease clocking
yet perplexingly still accrue.
Horizontal row of strangers
of recognizing eyes
riding similar machines of labor
pacing between the lines.
Pausing on occasion to
refresh, restart, release the energy.
Recycling work out stats
in heart rate summaries.
A cyclic path
to the same song
throughout the days
in a succession of ways
and sensing it all along.
In a list
A contest entry
- Eternal Return (prewrites welcome) by Danna Hobart.
400 points, ended January 20, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive criticism appreciated
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Very nice. Thanks for entering.
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As soon as "preset" passed by my eyes
I was de-treadmilled into rebelling
against all the pre-programming
beliefs, wanting the return
to be on my terms!
But, alas, I can
only wish!
Aes
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I think it's an interesting theory although I have to agree with you about having a say about another go round.
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Well, being a Pisces, an old soul,
it appears I may be at the end
of the route!!! Unless Pisces
goes on forever! -
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I've been told I'm an old soul...alot. If my life line holds any validity it's taking me a very long time to learn my lessons. Cancerian here...me and rocky
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Yes, I remember from our bday messages---our board-calender,
if it stays in place!
Life is one big lesson, with sub chapter after sub-chapter,
for there is no one perfect lesson to prevent us from making
mistakes----or repeating them!!!! -
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I read somewhere, but I can't remember at the moment, we choose our lessons before we enter the life. The lesson will keep presenting itself until we finally accomplish what we set out to do.
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Ah, I looked at the contest. You already have a good idea that I don't believe that stuff. But of course this is literature and so that is the fun, exploring improbabilities. How about a circular path, that would suggest the return. Maybe it's just Déjà vu.. I'd tell you my theory but you don't want to hear it. That is why I never tell it.
Yes, I see the perpetuity in your poem.(as I will call it.) -
Of course at first I thought it was a poem about working out, but of course the end changed that. More about the monotony of doing the same thing day in, day out.
I have a friend, I was recently reading some of her blogs on another site and she questions that same thing, the idea of time passing and what she getting for its passing? Just the same old routine.
Devoid of distance
odometer miles cease
yet still acrrue.
I like that and I take it to mean that, "Time moves on but you are static, caught in that mundane existence (the you in the poem anyway.)
Or it's about turtles.
Typo btw accrue.
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I was going more for eternal return but okay. I see where you are coming from. Thanks. Your comment is making me rethink a few things here. Edit button here I come.
I have a real life story about turtles but you probably figured that.
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Are the turtles into that chakra stuff?
You don't know good eating until you had my Tofu Chicken soup/stew. I'm having some now.
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The turtles and chakras are completely separate. I actually have several turtle stories...
I'm testing the chicken vs. clown nightmare theory again.
Tofu chick'n isn't bad. -
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You are forgetting who cooked it! I burn water But it is good. I haven't had tofu since my ill-fated life in California.
I'll find your turtle stories/poems. I have a couple too but trust me, you don't want to read the, Turtle meets a bad end.
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See if you can find a crock pot at yer Walmart. It's much harder to burn things in that.
My turtle stories are not written...they really happened and why am I not surprised?
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