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Circumstance

Missing image

Stolen glances of knowing

something you wish the world

could know. Yet with simple

eye contact, can be expressed

                          wordlessly.


Through the eyes is a soul of emotion

longing and yearning to

reach out and display,

yet held back in a manner only

                                  obvious

to those who feel the same.

The restrain of the want

to hold hands, as they momentarily

brush on a passing.

Unable to voice the love that so

                                        deeply burns

but having to reserve every

passionate adoration that

stands deserved; based upon circumstance.


A series of moments

guiltily enjoyed and a hearts

                                     greatest desire

ruined, spoiled.


Brief pleasure; like sand falls

fine between the fingers and is lost,

except through the contact of your

eyes and mine, and our love

                                       once upon a time.

Author notes

Ok so, i wrote this poem for a reason. It isn't personal in the way that it's something i am currently experiencing, but its a situation i was milling over last night. If you want to know any more about the reason then feel free to ask. I also didn't intend to end it incorporating 'i' into it but i didn't know how else i could put it well. Either or i'm happy with the result considering love, isnt the kind of poems i like to write.

Picture is from Becoming Jane. Film based on Jane Austen.

-Morgana Raven

option choice for becs contest, i think 1 and 3 its a mixture of both this poem is.

In a list

A contest entry

I'd like constructive criticism, always aiming to be better.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 51 of 51
  • TheGiftofAnonymity
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    Speechless

    ...Almost!

    "Brief pleasure; like sand falls
    fine between the fingers and is lost,

    I disagree with that line-break. I think it reads more clearly:

    "Brief pleasure; like sand
    falls fine between the fingers and is lost,"

    Sorry. I knit-pick. But I mean well...

    As for my enjoyment of this poem... Words cannot describe! This was an "Ahah! moment," almost like you just got done saying what I have tried and failed to say before. Safe to say I am slanderously jealous... (I think you plagiarised! hahah!)

    But no, really. Great poem. Especially for someone who doesn't like to write on the subject of love.


    • morgana raven Greeters member
      June 20
      Edit | Reply
      There isn't technically a line break there as there is no punctuation at the end to signal a pause after 'falls' it's jsut supposed to read over the line. Again, thank you I actually wrote this at 3am after watching Becoming Jane... thank you for your comments


  • hazaa
    June 16

    Edit | Reply

    love is the opium of the people

    love is kind of drug fantasy that makes us overjoy and have faith in some people which they don,t deserve it but alas there is no escape of this tyranny.

  • Clare Mayer
    May 9
    Edit | Reply

    good expresion. I like it.

    Love at times eludes us until we reach out and grab it. Your writings tell a story from the heart.

  • roland halloway
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    The line sand falling through fingers reminds me of--Of a Dream by E. Poe


  • historygeek6190
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    wow so true good work


  • nikoshiana
    April 9
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem


  • Brlsbb
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    i love you poetry and i love this pix great write...


  • jayyniecakes.
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    ehh.... i dont feel anything... it didnt emotionally connect to me or stand out because it was amazing.


  • insatiable
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write. expressions of love with out words. Glances that could tell the whole story if only the on lookers knew what they were looking for. I enoy poems about love and everything that comes with it. I find there is always more emotion and feeling to it. I really loved the last part

    Brief pleasure; like sand falls
    fine between the fingers and is lost,
    except through the contact of your
    eyes and mine, and our love
    once upon a time.

    a wonderful piece keep up the great work. looking forward to reading more.


  • AbidoodleCullen
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    Your writing is so wonderful!
    I really love this one and I love the pic! *cough* Becoming Jane *cough*
    FAVORITED!
    Good luck in all those contests!
    <3 Abi

    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 20
      Edit | Reply
      This is one of the only love poems i have written that im proud of haha and yes, becoming jane <3 i love that film =) thank you again for the comment ^_^ much appreciated =D
      Laura


  • uziphiel
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    i would like to talk more about the purpose of this poem thanx


  • Mrs D
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    this is indeed a wonderful poem ......interesting layout..very calm but deep rythme.....

    good job !!

    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment. It's the only love poem i've written of late, as i said they don't come out often xD


  • alwaysapartofme
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful poem! these two people love each other but cannot show it, but display it in a manner that they only know. wonderful job for someone who doesn't like to write love poems. good luck in the contest.


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This Is a beautiful piece, I enjoyed the read very much
    All the best In the contest


  • broken-colours
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    Very gorgeous and full of a deep longing.
    Your vocabuarly is impressive and it makes the poem all the more elegant.

    I love the way you write.


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Could you please put your username in your AN? Thank you

    ♥ Kathraina


    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 16
      Edit | Reply
      Sorry always forget to do that part of contests when i add a pre write


  • Swangrnv gold member
    January 13
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    interesting composition and a sweet love story.

  • Eusebius
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    This IS a poem that Jane Austen would understand and love so well, and, indeed, I do, also!!! A brilliant piece of writing!!!!


  • artis
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I have dallied in such wonderment, lost in the study shared between the four pupils entranced, in the schol of life's denial. Intense,un-merciful
    longing like a soul ripped wide, a wound that would tickle gently in her healing. Lips that float into my view like stop signs holding me back, when all I want to do is rush to them, breaking rules so cruel, that forbid the exposure of what cannot be. I am the empty limbs of autumn, the icicle tears of winter, the seed that lies wasted on barren ground in the spring, and the undulating heat of August rising over roads never crossed, all packaged in the wrong flesh for her.
    Would that it could be unzipped, and stripped away, allowing me to slip into the fortunate flesh of the one who will know her love at its finest. Excellent write, one can taste the thin gruel of loneliness in the cold bowl of their heart. ~~~Artis


  • LunaSilverStars
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    loving without words. a forbidden love. a past love's memories. loving someone who does not seem to know you are alive. this poem could be many things to many people. great job!

  • LovingPhoenix
    January 12
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice....Very true...

  • michaeline
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Verp philosophical.And very sentimental feelings.As you said you had your reason why you wrote it and it is not what you usually write about but it sounded great and full of emotion,you got alot of talant even when it comes from something you do not usually write about.

  • pruedence
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    It is an exciting experince to feel loving feelings from another with just a glance..a look...it can capture one by surprise, something you will never forget...we remember moments like this, they stay within our souls. I like the concept of this poem, it is beautifully written with so much emotion. I felt and captured the feelings you were trying to show...well done, thanks for sharing


  • film noir
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    The words, in parenthesis, should be added:

    to those who feel the same (way).

    And:

    brush (in) passing.

    That last one would sound better if shorten to do that.

    Other than that, I have no qualms with your poem. You wrote an okay love poem.

    - Aly

    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 11
      Edit | Reply
      i didnt use the word way because it was too obvious a rhyme with the word display when it works the same with the well 'same' i put brush on a passing because i meant like on the stairs, in passing would feellike i have to add something else on. and i really dont know what you mean by 'That last one would sound better if shorten to do that.' XD
      Thanks for the comment

  • Thor-201
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful and full of soul. Thanks you for sharing these words and your talent.


  • PastelMoons gold member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful
    and is certainly appropriate
    for my the contest.
    Thank you so much
    for entering this
    lovely piece

    ~Pastel


  • Dorian-Gray
    January 11
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That's pretty incredible. Loved it.


  • couldbeworse
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    loved: but having to reserve every

    passionate adoration that

    stands deserved; based upon circumstance

    and

    Brief pleasure; like sand falls

    fine between the fingers and is lost,

    except through the contact of your

    eyes and mine, and our love

    once upon a time

    great write!


  • chilali
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely adore the last stanza. I am so glad I stumbled across your page before! I am so loving your work. This is just amazing love
    A superb write indeed.

    Love and best wishes,
    Ylova

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