I have wasted away days filling the hours.
Watching the months go by
but nothing can fill this void in my heart.
I chose to leave, but it hurts none the less.
You left a stain on every one of my good days..
Said every word I ever wanted to hear and lied.
One more drink and i'm convinced,
this is all for the better.
Dispersing regrets flit through the cracks..
and I am alone.
Disseminating apprehension through sweat
in the palms of my hands.
Pulling out rough strands of hair until a bald spot appears..
Suddenly aware, I stop myself.
I used to have such thick hair.
Compulsive symptions of anxiety,
I cannot quit.
I am broken.
Nothing but a mess of pieces
you left behind,
and have forgotten.
I hate it for you.
the day you wake up and realize
I am [was] the only one capable
of loving someone like you.
I hate it for me.
Every opportunity I gave you
to break it off..
You kept on, saying you couldn't be happier
than you are with me.
And yet, she was the one in your bed
-every night-
Advantageously, you took my heart
and made it yours..
then let it go.
I was so trusting then..
I never saw you coming.
Author notes
I'm positive I could do more with this but lack of time has prevented me from working on it until tonight. The words I was required to use for this contest to use were *advantageous* and *disseminate*. I think it could use an actual title though..
l y s d a r l i n g
A contest entry
- Vocabulary 101 by McRae by nature.
1050 points, ended January 20, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - deal with it by Rae2732.
420 points, ended June 25, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the look in your eyes has stayed inside me. by aanika.
1200 points, ended August 23, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you have any suggestions? I need fresh eyes.
Comments
-
this was a nice poem. the only suggestion i have is to maybe not use as many ellipses (...) because they detract from the flow and slow down the whole feel of the poem.
thanks for entering. -
Wow. This is really amazing. I wrote a poem today similar to this, and i COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from on this one. Great job.
-
This is not really romantic poetry so no worries. What you have written is beautiful sadness, and I am very fond of this type of poetry. It is about love, but it is dominated by a stronger feeling, that of lose, and regret. I think regretful poetry is amazing. Great piece. Thank you for taking the challenge and writing.
Carrie -
advantageous- being favorable or helpful. (adj)
disseminate- to spread or disperse throughout, like sowing seeds (verb)
Good Luck
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