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Roses among the Thorns

I see a world of thorny brambles
I step forward and am immediately cut.
I shrug and let that single drop fall
Like a crimson tear, soaks the ground.
I press forward, more cuts upon my skin
Until the wounds tell the story of my life
And crimson marks my wayward path.
Eventually I may find a rose bush
In this world of thorny brambles
And by that rose bush will be a woman
As marked by her travels as I.
We will hold hands as we stare at beauty
The roses blooming in a sea of thorns.
Opening our hearts to it, and each other,
Then the thorny brambles will change and flower
Until our red pathways are soaked up
And everywhere we had travelled
Will be marked by a pathway of roses.

Author notes

A-muse-in-writer and this is for picture prompt one.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • aanika
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    no.

    i agree with tegan in that the message is sweet, but I've heard this all phrased this way before. I think you could have made it way more poetic.

    thanks for entering.


  • stasis
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    no

    I think that the idea for this is very sweet... but I think it would be much better with metaphor and imagery.

    Show, don't tell.

    Please wait for the other judge to comment.

    ♣ Tegan


  • Kathraina silver member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Aww so sweet. *sigh* I wanna gaze at the roses with love by my side! *lolz* Amazing job with this piece. Fits the prompt perfectly! Flows like a waterfall just after the thaw of winter. Fantastic imagery too, felt like I was there. Bravo! Great job and good luck!

    ♥ Kathraina

  • Utopian Evolution
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Vividly enticing to the core ... it reminds me of my saying, ‘You are a jeweled pearl in a sea of gold’ ... While gold is beautiful to look at, it is a bit plain to my eyes, not only that but with its history of death and bloodshed and wrongness it depicts the ‘thorns’ well in my book ...

    While pearls are splendid things! Beautiful in perfection, like Roses.

    I digress though ... h’rm ...

    This piece could be broken down in so many ways (which is why here I am ranting about it ... lol) about life whether it be a significant other, or what is thrown at as throughout our life ... There are many thorns out there that prick at your heart and leave you in the gutter as you slowly decay into nothingness in the significant other category ... which in turn really is a good visual eye feast starting this piece with. We die a little, but as we go and learn and grow we eventually find that rose that will leave its mark upon our hearts and make us feel alive again! ...

    Society, in the whole sense could indeed be the thorn as well, wandering in this and that and plaguing ourselves with limited happiness that does nothing but make us ill contempt with ourselves ... but in the end, if we strive to press on, as the poet so clearly states, the rose in this sense would be the internal happiness that one finds when he/she actually stops to wander in themselves of the simple questions of ... ‘what is my joy?’ or ‘what is my happiness?’ I think upon asking these questions, he/she would eventually manifest a way to find the rose in whatever he/she is seeking in life.

    Beautifully done dear poet! Well done ... hope you are having a good day thus far.

    G.


  • StarEyes
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful! What a great read... Reminds of something someone once said to me! This is truly a wonderful read, and comparing life to thorns and love to roses..... that is great!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful poem here brother you are a great poet i hope that you are a great brother as well but as i can tell from you poetry you are a great brother and a great teddy bear for me to hug and hold happy or sad you will always be here for me as i will be here for you


  • Rose Angel gold member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    You have created quite a vivid visual picture here that is most original....The thorns in the pathway of roses bring you and the one who you hope to meet together, in a unison of life's experience that bonds you together in love....Beautifully written!

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