Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Bent Cup






Similar faces crowd the badly tiled hallways
never gyrating enough to see completely

Bottles churning in the Atlantic Ocean
carry burnt messages hollow

The seagulls, how they died on hot afternoons
when the haze was thick
heavy as your breath pushing me away

Lips trembling like small children
freedom was scarce as I lay down
to read the Sunday paper

Her eyes like acid as they seared your skin
my bitter laughter as I drank down the vodka

Frost on my windowpanes
flies on my walls






Author notes

AP name required: Dime

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Nostalgic Moon
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    this is like something that Mr. Hoover would make us read for English. what I mean is: this is super good and theres a bunch of hidden things in it that we would have to pick out... but we would most likely fail epicly..
    haha
    anyhoo.. this is amazing!!

    Her eyes like acid as they seared your skin
    my bitter laughter as I drank down the vodka

    ^ love that part fersher

    Thanks so much for entering!!

    keep on keepin on


  • Amana Araya Jabari
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    WOw its...........so strong............... and wow


  • landmark
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    hi! i stumbled across your page and i'm glad i did. this is really great...strong imagery, i love the last two lines.


  • first forgotten
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    wow, babe. this is really intense. very well written, sister. i love the rythm and the diction. mostly the diction; great work.


  • peregrin
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Lauren, this is really good...
    Like really really good.
    I would give you more little clappy smiley faces, but I can't.
    *sigh*
    Gwen


  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Bottles churning in the Atlantic Ocean
    carry burnt messages hollow~ Love that.
    You use very keen imagery.~Frost on my windowpanes
    flies on my walls~

    Saw you on Lane's poem(Dalaney)She is tops.
    Pen on!
    Joe


  • Dalaney gold member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    my god...your comment on my poetry brought me here to yours...and this is simply stunning! i will definitely be reading you....

    love, lane


    • Chocolate Dime
      January 10
      Edit | Reply
      wow...thank you, im honored you liked it ^-^ and btw i think you write the best poems out of anyone on allpoetry. they're so amazing

1 - 9 of 9