Silt brown snake
Slithering over the land
I see you from my metal bird
You are ancient as the forge of Hephaestus
Your skin wrinkled by the gentle winds
Speckled with waterfowl
The endless elbows of your curves
Twist and turn your course endlessly
Wending a way to the sea
I see a raised-scar-sand bar
In the center of your wrist
It tells me of your old, old pain
The varicose veins of your current
Ridge the waves and valleys
Showing me your hidden movements
And river
I love you
You writhe
Author notes
A poem inspired by observing a river (I don't know which one) from an airplane.
River deep, flow my dreams
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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i love the over-all tone to this.. everything just sounds so natural and dreamy.. good job! i especially adore the last part >_<
hearts,
~tiara♥ -
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Thank you for reading and commenting.
-K
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Wow.. such detail you add in .. such beauty incased into your words..
amazing!
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Thanks for reading and commenting *smiles* This is the most peaceful write I think I have, and tonight I long for peace....
-K -
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I can understand that.. with the drama thats happening.. all in all.. I hope your week goes better than today has for you dear..
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Thank you SO MUCH. It should be better on Wednesday when I leave to go visit my boyfriend on his air force base.... *smiles* Hopefully by then all this ugliness will be forgotten. I appreciate your kind words more than you could know.
-Kelly
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Very unusual and descriptive. I love how you wrote the last stanza
"And river
I love you
You writhe"
Because its just so unusual and final.
Great job!
-Claire
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Thanks very much for your kind words =]
-K
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I reallly like this, you use greatimagery and i would have to say that i can't pick a favorite line form this because this is just fantastic the whole way through. I love the metaphors, by the way , the way the river seemes to have human characteristics. I love rivers too, you never cease to amaze me!
kudos!
-Silver
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Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it =] Happy Thanksgiving!
-K
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you left me virtually speechless.. this is absolutely beautiful.. always keep writing!
hearts,
~tiara♥ -
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Thanks *smiles* Have a great day and thanks so much for your kind words!
-K
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awesome...the imagery here is superb...youpainted me a picture...I would hang it with pride above my mantle
I salute you
T
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Thank you!! ^_^ Hugs!
-K
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blown away - such creative imagery - "The endless elbows of your curves" and
" see a raised-scar-sand bar
In the center of your wrist
It tells me of your old, old pain"
love this. thanks for sharing!
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Thank you! =]
-K
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This reminded me of the Nile in Eygpt especially the first few lines. This was really cool, you made the river seem like a living being with emotions, a past, and actions, well done!
~Betrayals
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Thanks for reading and leaving such a lovely comment! =]
-K
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Really cool!
I was reminded of when I flew around a bit on the puddle jumpers, being so close to the ground gave a much different view on the terrain. Have you ever heard the song, "The River" by Gentle Giant? Excellent tune, excellent band, I think of them as Jethro Tull's more discordant cousin.
Peace
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Will definitely give it a listen when I get home, thanks!!
-K
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this was a beautiful poem . my favortie part was:
I see a raised-scar-sand bar
In the center of your wrist
It tells me of your old, old pain
i loved it. i could picture that in my mind. great job!
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Thanks for reading and commenting!
-K
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beautiful poem it reminds me of the doors song, [yes the river knows]
but shawnG is wrong, it is not about nothing rivers are life givers for many,
anyways truly a good poem
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Poetry is open to many different interpretations.... <3
[I can't sleep..... this is going to make a bad day at work tomorrow, lol....]
Thanks for reading and commenting <3
-K
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Fantastic
Absolutely wonderful! The fact that you can write something about nothing absolutely baffles me, and not only that you write so skillfully! All your lines being as original as I could possibly hope for... I especially enjoyed the last three lines... those are what did it for me. -
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Thank you! This is definitely my favorite piece that I've written, simply because it's so simple. I love it, and I loved that river, and I loved your comment. Glad you enjoyed it. =]
-K
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hm this is a really good piece. I like how you wrote it keep up your great work!
TwiztidMaggot -
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Thank you for reading and commenting!!
-K
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I love rivers. That's a very nice way to describe a river. Vivid.
The only thing I dislike about rivers is how cold they make me, but I can cope with that (just about - I HATE cold water).
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LOL. I've actually had the distinct pleasure of jumping into a river comprised almost entirely of newly-melted snow at 5 o'clock in the morning..... there's no better way to start the day then screaming obscenities and running like crazy for your tent xD
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This is my favorite poem I've written.... <3 I love you River!
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