I hear the calling
Its pottery’d sound
Claying wisdom
Reverbs around
I rear my head
Spying checker’d spots
It’s in my stomach—
Nervous knots
I fear the cringe
Of whistle’d wails
Drooping shoulders
Flimsy hails
I dare to wonder
About a recover’d fall
Rebounding from under
Weighted wall
We all near the day
Of a Crescendo’d awe
And buckling sways
And dropping jaw...
Author notes
Experimenting with a hybrid-style I borrowed (with permission - lol).
Comments
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I like the pottery bit although I wasn't sure what it was about, it s like someone is calling you to do something and you're nervous about it.
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haha...hello celadia, thank you for this wonderful feedback. It's great to see you. I wasn't responding to a call that illicited nervousness in me (but now that you say this, I can see how it feels that way). No, it was more of a subtleness; a sound in the distance; in the wilderness (maybe) of the mind. One of those feelings that tug at us and has us turn to look in a direction but not see where the sound appeared to have emanated from. Here, it could be any sound; certainly I wondered in reflection about echoed calling; it's reverb and the deafening sounds of silence and the shattering possibilities of it being overwhelmed by peaking out on some 'assembling' of people for questioning ('Judgement Day'? maybe...? maybe...).
AsIThink...
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What flow in rhythm and rhyme do I see here...
like water running it's natural course through troughs of thought. I love the style and quite different from you. Beautiful expressions in your words...leaves me pondering the meanings within...alby
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hahaha...if it was written in its original style, then it wouldn't be hybrid-ed (lol). Thank you for the wonderful compliments here alby; naturally, I'm glad that you liked it. Your feedback is important to me so thank you very much for it all.
AsIThink...
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Ran, this is really deep. I love the imagery throughout, especially
"Its pottery’d sound
Claying wisdom
Reverbs around"
Your experiment was a success; now get back in that lab and create some more!
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I'm going! I'm going! ("Back to the lab..." lol). Thanks for the wonderful feedback Mel. I really appreciate all of the support you give.
AsIThink...
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I don't think I have ever read anything in a hybrid-style before, but I really enjoyed it. This is really different with a great flow to it.... well done Randy
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ahhhh...haha. I think I got you (smiling). Thank you tons. This is your longest comment yet (haha). I better concentrate in my chair and see if more of this stuff will come sashaying from my keyboard...
AsIThink...
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VERY nice! Thought-provoking content! And your rhymes are fantastic. Quite an enjoyable read. That chair must be electrified! (LOL)
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LOL...(geez! I hope my chair isn't electrified...or it could be CURTAINS for yours truly...lol). You are so generous with your gracious commenting; thank you very much for all of it. I can't tell you enough what a good feeling it leaves me with.
AsIThink...
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hey.. I like this !
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haha...thank you Rheea. I appreciate your visits and kindness. (I like the new avatar too. lol).
AsIThink...
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I really like this hybrid style from you bro! it's always good to try something different every now and then. Great flow as usual and your content never ceases to amaze me. Keep up the great work bro!
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Thanks son, I really appreciate all of your constant support. Yeah, I get a nice little lift by shifting around how I approach writing (hahaha). Love your strong feedback and am glad that you liked this piece.
AsIThink...
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l.o.l.
this is hot kid..i like your new 'hybrid' style..it fits nicely.
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Thank you very much Swan. I thought I would take some time to experiment a bit... alby has a wicked style and said "it's all yours" (LOL). So I rigged my, 'Thinking Chair' to my 'Thought Lab' and let me fingers do the typing...haha. Glad you liked this.
AsIThink...
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