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Rendevous

It was a long day at work so I stopped at a bar,
unwinding just a bit at the ‘Old Shooting Star’.
I’d never done anything quite like this before.
I’m pretty laid back, just a homebody bore.

She looked out of place, I tried not to stare.
Do I take a big chance? I don’t know, do I dare?
Sitting on her right, some big wrestler guy.
I came in from the left and simply said, “Hi.”

I saw the dude gave me a “back off” glare.
But, she was so gorgeous, I just didn’t care.
I said, “Hey there darlin’, can I buy you a beer?
I don’t think I’ve seen you before ‘round here.”

“That’s your best line?” she sarcastically said.
Slick, who agreed, started shaking his head.
I answered, “No ma’am, no lines if ya’ please.
I’m just an ‘ole country boy, who likes what he sees.”

Smiling she questioned, “A hillbilly line?”
Mr. Stud started flashing the big loser sign.
So, I said, “Pretty lady, let’s be totally up front.
We know why we’re here, we know what we want.”

“I think you and I should hook up somewhere.”
She then looked away like I wasn’t even there.
Laughing so hard, Mr. Cool spilled his drink.
Both of us wondering, just what did she think?

She turned back and said, “That sounds mighty fine.
At least you were honest. Your place or mine?”
I threw down a twenty and extended my arm.
She grabbed it with style, and sweet country charm.

Looking over my shoulder, back through the door,
Mr. America was picking his jaw off the floor.
We stepped on outside, with a kiss on her cheek,
I said, “Honey, where did you find such a geek?”

“I thought he was cute,” she said just to tease.
“But I do feel sorry for the next girl he sees.
I’ll pick up the kids, and meet you at home,
or should I say back where the buffalo roam?”

Leaving I shouted, “Hey girl, by the way.
I fall more in love with you every single day.”
She smiled and replied, “I did like your line.
But if you ever forget, … Mr. Macho is mine.”

Author notes

I used the prompt "Love at first sight." It happens everytime I see her, my beautiful bride.
Kevin Pace WordsDoMatter

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • sorries
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    nice rhyme and flow ... ain't love grand this made me smile and the flow really was pretty smoothe. I hate that loser sign. It's so damned emo ...


  • XXWolfOfInsanityxX
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this made me laugh quite a bit. I thought this would rather cute and funny in a good way of course. But beside that you did really well and it's touching and sweet. Showing your love for someone. Very well written and the rhyme is amazing and you did really well with the prompt! my favorite lines were
    " Leaving I shouted, “Hey girl, by the way.
    I fall more in love with you every single day.”
    She smiled and replied, “I did like your line.
    But if you ever forget, … Mr. Macho is mine.”

    Funny but cute

    Good luck in the contest. and thanks so much for taking your time to enter my contest it's an honor.


    Many blessing and love to you dear friend

    - Maria ♥


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry in the contest. An amusing story with a neat twist at the end and one we didn't see coming. Congratulations on the gold trophy already won.

    All the best in the contest.

    Sue and Jeff


  • Heroesrox
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Another great write by you! Congratulations on the gold and keep up the good work!

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful write and best wishes to you!


  • Legend silver member
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem i really enjoyed the role playing of this couple One can just imagine the look on Mr Macho's face Excellent Good luck in the contest


  • echo-ink
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Great fun, great line,
    this poems goin'
    in the finals of mine,
    hehehe


    • WordsDoMatter
      February 21
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      this is one I just let the rhyme dictate the next line. I had no idea where it was going - Kevin


  • Serenity-words
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    Fascinating

    Oh, this poem is just so creative. I loved it!
    On thing, the rhyming sounds just a bit forced. I don't really think it needs it in some places. But other than that, great job!

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering, but not what I'm looking for at this time.


  • AbidoodleCullen
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    This was absolutely FABULOUS!
    Thanks for entering and good luck!
    <3 Abi


  • Sandygram
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    Now this was a fun poem to read . I did enjoy the rhyme. I want to thank you for entering my contest. Your poem was a pleasure to read.Very heartfelt words. I wish you the best of luck. Take care, Sandy

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering, but it's not what I'm looking for at this time.


  • Jesann gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha !!! This brought a smile.
    I really enjoyed it.
    Great rhyme and flow as always, very well done.
    Still smiling...ha ha !!!!


  • Lisa.
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    WOW A REALY GOOD POEM ITS REALY LONG GOOD JOB

1 - 15 of 15