Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

My Fake Author Page

SuckiestPoetThatEverSuckedShow poetry

 

 

• Last seen picking marshmallows out of Lucky Charms

• Member since March 2, 2007.

• I'm a lyric diamond poet for 12307 comments.

• I am a woman (United States)

• Visit my homepage at allpoetry.com/poetry/by/SuckiestPoetThatEverSucked

• I support the site as a gold member

• I have 12,307 comments

 

 

 

About me:

Hi my name is 'SukiestPoetThatEverSucked'

(A dear AP friend gave me that cool name!)

--Also known as Bella or Isabella but I like the name

Lucy and have always wanted to be called Crystal.

 

 

I grew up on the streets-- Literally!

The hospitals were filled to capacity

It could have been worse I guess,

but I never understood why my mother

left me-- fortunately I was taken in by a family of rats

who did the best they could with what they had.

 

The Fam

 

I have been writing since last week when

I finished 'hooked on phonics'

I didn't get hooked though and thank

goodness, I was so worried, because

someone told me if I got hooked on anything

I would have to go to rehab.

and I said, No, No, No!

 

 

•Favorite drink:

Well, I bought some powdered water,

but I don't know what to add to it.

so I'm gonna have to say Pepsi.

 

•Favorite Foods:

Chicago Cheese

Dumpster Delight

Mousetrap Peanut-Butter

and Cows, o' wait, I better clarify

that! I don't want y'all to think that I literally

eat Cows Surprised Ewww goodness no! 

I just eat the leather shoes that Cows wear.

 

 

 

•Favorite AP Poets:

StopComingBymyPageYouWierdo

Really?

Ru4real?

DontMakeMeGetARestrainingOder

UbeenReported

 

 

 

I would leave a link to their page

but lately when I stop by a red

exclamation point ! comes up with

a note that says something like

"This person is ignoring you"

They must be super-duper busy

but as soon as things slow down

I will post the links. Oh and they

change their names a lot, just

so you know.

 

Favorite book:

 

• About My poetry:

I hope you enjoy my poetry it is

mostly a compilation of poetry by

my favorites--a kind of tribute

to their awesomeness!

Thank you for visiting

 

 

•Groups i'm in: "For people who like music by Ratt" (*giggles* I know they spelled rat wrong)

• Groups i'm still waiting to get in: " No-one will allow you in their group? Come on in , you're always welcome here"

(There must be something wrong with the application process, because I have tried several times, I even tried to contact Kevin but he must be busy too 'cause that exclamation point thingy came up again, but I'm sure if he knew, he'd feel really bad about it,

Thanks again

 

 

•My Poetry:

3 - 3 of 25  Show all   Search

 

 

Mousetrap

Death is hereditary.

20 lines, 0 comments, December 31, 2008 in, Dark, Death, Personal, Experience, No cheese is worth dying for, Addiction

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A Poem About Love & Stuff

Needing you is like needing a parachute.

If you are not there the first time I need you,

chances are I won't be needing you again.

10 lines, 0 comments, January 5, 2009 in Love & Stuff,

Experience,Romance

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

A Poem About Death & Other Scary Stuff

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,

my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

14 lines, 0 comments, January 10, 2009 in Dark, Death

& Stuff, Experience,Scary stuff

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Author notes

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
Thank you for creating such a fun contest!

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • Aww Pastel, this is hysterical...

    Absolutely priceless!!!
    Made me giggle muchly...
    I love your versatility that you can so flawlessly flow from darkness to sensual to enchanting to humour...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well done!!!


  • ladyjae
    January 27
    Edit | Reply
    brought tears to my eyes. hil frigging larious


  • Melodies
    January 17

    Edit | Reply

    WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!

    This amazing page is packed with one wildly crazy and very funny spot of sparky humor after another and makes me want to take lessons from you. lol Thank you for those rats, oh my gosh! :"))


  • Firequeen
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    Omg this is to funny
    I loved it.
    Thank you for the laugh so needed it.
    Great job
    good luck my friend.
    Fire


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I knw what contestyou were entering. She always comes up with the best contests. I hope you get some ood comments.


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    TOO FUNNY!!!

    I loved this...LMFAO!!!


  • wbiro gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    great page, to be envied- a lot of good ideas worked out, I read it all, right down to your fine poems... (and remind me to give you your first comment on one of those, they look 'intriguing' (thank goodness for comment spell-check)...) I was going to create a fake page of my own, but your work here took the breath out of me (really you've shown how much work the task may take!) it is a fine piece... right down to the author's notes... but, I shall endeavor, just for your amusement, to give a little in return...


  • Cup-a-Joe
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Crystal, Im Joe but like to be called David.
    I read all your poems and I really enjoyed them.
    Your rat mother and father-are thay adopting?
    I need a good place to crawl into.
    Thanks for the lift this cold morning.
    Joe


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Your family seem a little lethargic to me This is awesome hunni! Love the humour, had me giggling till it hurt Excellent work! Good luck but you shouldn't need it


  • Lexie - gold member
    January 12
    Edit | Reply

    LMAO

    Keep taking the meds,
    you nut job hehehe


  • vici377
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    so very clever...but I expect this from you..excellent write my dear friend ..thanx so much sharing.and best of luck in the contest...blessings..namaste..


  • aboomer silver member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    LOL - love all the thought you've put into this - really enjoyed reading it!

    best wishes in your contest

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    This is just great Good job


  • Nom de Plume
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    love the home page Bella, or is it Lucy, or Crystal ??? Im and Ive also nominated your poem "mousetrap" for the homepage thing on AP
    I enjoyed your fake author page, gave me a chuckle and a smile at work this morning..
    good luck


  • EmeraldDreams
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome!!!!
    I love the bit about being brought up by rats! That was great. I was brought up by kagaroos myself

    I felt so sorry for this imaginary poet not being able to join any groups and being ignored by everyone including Kevin! lol! Poor thing!

    Great fake page!
    Good luck in the contest


  • ApollosMuse
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    okay..well i just checked out the links and it got that much funnier though iwasn't sure it could!!WOW!!

  • ApollosMuse
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    seriously....my stomach hurts from laughing so hard...everyone just came out of their rooms to see what he hell was going on!!!tears...that brought tears i was laughing sooooo hard!!!this is awesome...i was going to enter but i don't have nearly enough to time to come up with something that freakin witty!!!AWESOME...as always!!!(giggle, giigle)!!!

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Cant wait to read this let me know when you are done please

1 - 19 of 19