No harsh wind can penetrate my face,
these walls make me feel embraced.
Safe in this fortress of solid strength,
protecting me within arms length.
You are the living water you provide,
between these pillars, with you I abide.
Majestic are they that represent you,
no weapon formed can conquer or subdue.
I can take a deep breath and feel content,
worshipping you with a shout and to vent.
These walls were clay when you formed them,
no deteriation just as strong as they were then.
Just a wave of your hand can make them crumble,
often times you allowed me to tip and to stumble.
Safe in the shadows as the warmth of light shines,
singing to the tune there aint' no rock higher than I.
Everything is a gift from you, our God who reigns,
above the top I can hear the angels still proclaim.
Feeling such tranquility, a peace finally achieved,
surrounded by your power, the Grace to breath.
A contest entry
- This Must Be A Gift From God by smonte19124.
2750 points, ended January 21, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Got an HM You Think Deserves Better? by Paloszoo.
900 points, ended April 9, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Hi. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck! I’ve decided to use a slightly edited version of my friend Arkbear’s grading scoreboard to help me judge this contest. I hope he doesn’t mind. It’ll aid me in organizing my thoughts and judging fairly versus randomly. I hope you enjoy it and find it helpful. Writers with the highest possible points out of 80 will obviously win
Title Appeal: 8 – This title sounds really awkward to me, and I probably wouldn’t click on it. It also gives a lot of your poem away, so unless I wanted to read about this genre, I wouldn’t click on it.
Poem Flow: 9.15 – Flow is decent, but it ends with a huge thud when you stop rhyming. Also, rhyme is off a bit.
Depth: 9.25 – There’s some power behind your words, but the impact is lacking. Will people remember this when they’re done reading it?
Emotional Impact: 7.5 – I just didn’t feel it. I’m sorry
Spelling and Grammar: 9.25 - Grammar is fine and just one spelling error: “Deteriation” should be “deterioration”.
Punctuation and Caps: 9.5 – Caps are fine. Aint’ should be ain’t.
Presentation: 9.25 – Lines are a little long for my taste.
Personal Appeal: 8 – I enjoy spiritual writes, but this lacked the emotional impact that I’d prefer to feel. Great job overall!
My score: 69.90/80.00
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rhyming on a scale of ten was ten
great work
awesome job
deserved a medal -
beautiful!
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Every single word is perfect the rhyme the rhythm the message, Everything. Thank you so very much for entering my contest. Good luck and God Bless, Jo-Ann
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Wonderful
A very thoughtful and well written creation. Best of luck in the contest.
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D, you're better than 20 sermons- Thanks- G
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This just flows, you have penned an amazing write, an enjoyable read from start to finish
All the best to you
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Excellnt praise to God. A very good prayer giving Him the praise as our strength and and giver of all we recieve.
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The picture clearly shows the greatness of creation. "Everything is a gift from you, our God who reigns" - How right you are! I like that you see the positive in this mightiness ("these walls make me feel embraced"). Good work and good luck!
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the breath of Divine
how we have been blessed
to know though we may stumble we will be stronger we will grow and know it is the way home.
it indeed brings peace to know He is always with us and He so loves us.
gratitude flows beautifully through your words
a pleasure to read
God bless you my friend...
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A lovely write and message. Heartfelt. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling and you express your faith beautifully in this piece. Very good closing verse. Well penned.
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Very good. God is Good. Well expressed.
May God be with you.
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