I sailed across the open sea
The open sea that is so free
I sailed across the open sea
To far off foreign shores
I found a woman there for me
A woman bold and deadly be
I found a woman there for me
That lured me far from shore
I made a home, near mountain be
A mountain strong with sights to see
I made a home, near mountain be
Far from the blue I’d known.
I think back now to the sea
The sea that holds my memory
I think back now to the sea
Who still vainly calls to me.
Author notes
"Let it Rock"
A-muse-in-writer
Hope you like.
A contest entry
- 3 years on AP ! by Anu-Nataraj.
500 points, ended January 14, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Galore/no gold yet by piccola.
400 points, ended January 19, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (my ap family) prewrite contest by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 28, 115 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Never Ending Rhyme Pre-Writes Allowed Contest by piccola.
700 points, ended February 14, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the audition round. by stargazer..
800 points, ended May 21, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Anything! by ToxicSuicide.
700 points, ended March 22, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pif/round contest part one - prewrite's by serenity silvermoon.
800 points, ended July 10, 564 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Originality: (7/10)
Emotion: (6/10)
Poetic devices: (15/20)
Structure/flow: (7/10)
Cohesion: (8/10)
Title relating to poem: (8/10)
Personal opinion: (7/10)
Syntax: (9/10)
Diction: (8/10)
total:75/100
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Originality: (8/10)
Emotion: (7/10)
Poetic devices: (18/20)
Structure/flow: (9/10)
Cohension: (9/10)
Title relating to poem: (8/10)
Personal opinion: (9/10)
Syntax: (8/10)
Diction: (9/10)
Total: (85/100)
The rhyme is great and I love the background! -
the rhyme here is wonderful as is the story. I like the background as well though I am not a fan of Johnny Depp. Thank you for the entry.
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Wonderfully rhymed and has a nice flow and rhythm.
Excellent!
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You always rhyme so beautifully! This was an amazing write. It flowed very well and the imagery is wonderful. The repition in this piece works really well too! I love the concept
great job big bro!
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Man Mike!
That was totally awesome!
Makes me wanna write something like it!
So museifying! I know I just made that up but dang! This is great!
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third paragraph, mountain strong with sights to see, And the way you talk about the sea. They are my favorite lines. Really nice work on you done. It was a pleasure to read
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Fabulous write of the open sea. Argh! I loved it, background is so appropriate.
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This is so good! I love the repetition! Very nice use of it! Lovely work I really mean it. I could see this like a story played out in my head.
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I loved it, I think it was worth the GOLD! But that is just me. I really like the background, it goes well with the poem. Well Johnny Depp is rather hot too.... ha ha ha! ~~Iridessa~~
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Lovely!
You paint such a beautiful picture! And in rhyme, too- that's not so often well done..
I love the subject, the way it flows..
Keep it coming!
~ Overcast.
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I love all of this write except the last line...it sort of comes to a dead stop rather than the swish of memories held captive by the sea...may be just me, but I would like to see a more haunting line at the end to give the sense that you left one love for another...I see it won a bronze, so perhaps I am too salty for the day on this one.. ...Peace, Rhonda
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Wow, this is beautiful. I really like the background it goes so well with the poem you've written here. great imagery. the flow is just awesome. The rhyme is terrific. this is such a good write. and a very enjoy read before bed
- Star Crossed Lovers♥
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wow!! this is actually amazing!!! woa
the rhyme is excellent. your language is amazing. i love this a lot. definitely a favorite of mine!
x -
very good, I love the background also!
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Fantastic job! Great flow and imagery and superb rhyme! Love the concept. Bravo and best of luck!
♥ Kathraina
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You blew my mind with this one! OMG! What a wonderful read this one is! *speechless* This is just amazing!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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Oooh my....What a poem! The flow, and your word choice and meter in this so relaxing though the story is sad....Excellently done! Good luck in the contest!Background so suitable!
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for u !
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OMG !! this was amazing.
you knwo..ive neva come across a poem in form like this !... and trust me..i luvd it !! this was amazing !!!! beautiful flow friend !!!
and NO I DID NOT LIKE IT !
I LOVED IT !!!!
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