In this puddle of liquid life and tears, I gasp for my last breath.
A blood whore hopelessly addicted to the crimson crystal meth.
I let my tongue lap it up, as if it were the sweetest tasting cum.
That travelled down your milky thighs, from your engorged and purple plum.
I slide my body across the tile 'til I'm a drenched and savage vision.
What a mess that reeks of retribution from such a small incision.
On my knees I repentantly crawl to the sublime yet ghastly scene.
Repaired like an addict that trembles, from an impending shot of morphine.
Draped and writhing atop your body as it slowly chills beneath me.
Clenching your neck and savoring each drop like a vintage glass of chablis.
I will finally caress every inch of this flesh once so perpetually denied.
And quickly consume the most delectable pieces until the fear in me subsides.
When reality emerges triumphant from the darkest recesses of mind.
Feels like the fading of twilight, llike switching from fast-forward to rewind.
Once my only prescription, you were the human equivalent super-fix.
Displayed and worshipped at my personal altar like a priests favorite crucifix.
Now I'm alone with your filthy corpse, ravaged from the inside out.
Terrified of my own reflection that casts a curious shadow on doubt.
An addiction of this nature is a dark, insidious disease.
That transforms the finest of mankind into the worst possible sleaze.
Though quickened by your blood, I would have ceased upon command.
Now too late to tell you, I only wanted to hold your hand.
Author notes
Twisted and Beautiful, gypsyfan
I'm my own warped inspiration. A relationship gone so very wrong. If people only knew that something so small (holding a beautiful hand) can compensate for the carnal pleasures that consume us. A request gone deadly wrong. That is how I would describe this piece. Enjoy!
A contest entry
- ~ Dark/Morbid ~ by XMysticalNightmareX.
550 points, ended November 19, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites!!!!! With a twist by darkscorpia.
400 points, ends December 8, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - I want different.. Dark writes with a twist by lovlilmystery.
550 points, ended December 2, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Things Twilight!!! by Bilec.
400 points, ended December 2, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I see, I have commented on this piece before. But will not hold this, against this piece. I am glad, you have entered it again. Thank you, for letting me know what inspired you to have written. The inspiration part, by no means will affect the way the contest is judged. I just wanted to know, what one finds to inspire them to write the darker poetry. I still find this to be of the highest quality writing and really enjoyed reading it again.
Thank you, for the entry into the contest. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
This is good. The rhyming is very good.I like this poem a lot. I think it's the perfect description for an addiction. Great, great job!
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just a suggestion:
i enjoyed reading it
but you might want to put this under adult
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Dark and beautiful. Have you read the Vampire Academy books?
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While this is a strong, well written description of addiction, it is not dirty pretty. So, I will, unfortunately have to remove it from my contest.
Nevertheless, good luck in the various other contests you have this entered in.
- Bean Sidhe -
intence!
really well written, and the imagery WOW!!!! thank you sooo much for entering this contest! really awsome write! thanks again and I wish you the best of luck in this contest
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loves it!!
"What a mess that reeks of retribution from such a small incision."
What a fabulously brutal line.
This poem is dark,twisted,honest, and sexyThe title grabbed me.
The last line has a flair of redemption.
I love the rhythm. KUDOS!!!
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Nice! Thanks for entering!
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This poem enthralled me. The first few lines flowed so perfectly and the imagery was intense and sleazy. The rhyme and flow did stutter and skip near the middle but you wrapped it up nicely in the end. A very good write, I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering and best of luck.
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Very dark write. Can't imagine such as this, happening to people I know. Although, I know it happens, to someone we may actually know. I believe you have captured, in your words, what it is like to be a drug addict. I could have been this kind of person, myself long ago. But chose to be someone, of a different nature. Thank you for sharing this poem. Thank you for entering the contest. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi -
vampiric imagery to convey an emotional void that caused a tragic relationship.
The images are sexyhorrific/needyvampiric. Some people are relationship vampires takers of all that is offered. The victim is usually willing though. Seems the poem met the qualification of the contest however.
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An addiction of this nature is a dark, insidious disease.
That transforms the finest of mankind into the worst possible sleaze.
Though quickened by your blood, I would have ceased upon command.
Now too late to tell you, I only wanted to hold your hand.
- niceee, this is twisted and beautiful. i love poetry like that. -
Twisted, Sister
Orgasmic imagery. The title is a matter of perspective, but some folks take exception when referring to a slut as a whore. I like the title, Blood Whore. It is appropriate in relationship to the content... but I'm not the judge.
"That transforms the finest of mankind into the worst possible sleaze."
I have found alcohol has the same effect.
Howard
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Thanks and I enjoy the comparison! Pills too!
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This is a sick poem.. I don't like it much at all. It's emo, the title is unnecessary and its repulsing.
Thanks for entering.
2/10
- Blue
beauty
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Wow!
People never cease to amaze me. If the title is unnecessary, could you recommend a necessary one?? Now you've been enlightened. Glad to help.
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very good, good description
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Very dark.... horrific and narrated in a quite and menacing way.
The rhyme was very natural. Great write... the images come out superbly, very creative.
I will finally caress every inch of this flesh once so perpetually denied.
And quickly consume the most delectable pieces until the fear in me subsides
its really creepy!!
Thanks for entering... Great Write.
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This was really interesting and very dark. I enjoyed reading it. It was well done. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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Great write, turley horrific but toatly sublime! Your rythem was brillaint and so was the whole thng. I'll re-read before closing the contest before I decide what to do with it. Great work though, if you keep it up like this you'll go really far, especially with such a twist on the end. Glad its sunny here otherwise I might get a little worried!
Best of luck and keep writting
Dryad Enya -
"Feels like the fading of twilight, like switching from fast-forward to rewind.
Once my only prescription, you were the human equivalent super-fix." Was my fave line, this poem was very painful, creative, thoughtful and I am truly sorry for your sister as you say she is the one going through this. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest!!! -
Love Dark writes =)
Great Write and
Thank you for entering
Good Luck
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Amazing write!!! I love it and the way you put the words together so beautifully!! very well done thanks for entering this contest and best of luck
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nice write thank you for entering
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Wow
Fantastic write,
I truly loved this! Great job, and good luck! -
very good and shockvalue is definatly here, but i wasnt exactly looking for deathcore lyrics kinda shockvalue... moer or less the kinda shock value that makes people question their beliefes, thanks for the entry none the less
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wow this was mindblowing and absolutely amazing!!
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Beautiful, it caught my eye from the title but I loved the way it draws you in and creates images the are excellently played out I loved the descriptions and how they all fell together
Great Work
Romeo
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wow i love the rhyming you have done in this piece. it flows so great which makes it that much more powerful and interesting to read.
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Wow, this was so well-worded, analogies that were very clever, I loved this one!
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Quite amusing apart from the mis-spelling of "altar" which horrified me to the very core of my evil being. I liked this bit: "engorged and purple plum". Can I guess which bit of the anatomy you are referring to? I think I can. Heh Heh Heh
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oooooooo the title drew me in and I was uber pleased at the write! Dark and seductive... just lovely!
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You are incredible at rhyming. I really liked this poem for it's emotion and movement. Great job.
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Amazing
I loved it. I don't even know how to describe how amazing that was!
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wicked!
very discriptive!..i enjoyd each sentance,you are very good at rimeing at the end..i am a sucker for good rimer's. hahaha (can't spell rime right. hahaha)
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Haha
Rhyme. LOL there u go...haha
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Bloody Dark!
As usual........bloody beautiful my dark darling.
Momma
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desighned lament of love
as always my friend you send changes of thought throughout my mind and heart,,your writings are indded deep but beautifully penned with amazing talent,,blessings of love,light,laughter and life...Firestorm
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This is well I am happy you do not live next door to me ! You write too well lol
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Thank you for being so complimentary. No need to worry, I am really quite harmless, but there is some sick need to put another side down on paper. Thanks again.
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