I have swallowed hard the cardinal’s mating opus, answered;
let the spray of tides soothe sun-parched skin;
tumbled childlike in mounds of leaves,
tossing coins of autumn high to flitting fairies;
left footprints
on an undefiled meadow of snow.
I have sipped the wells of Love’s dark eyes
‘til, in absence, I could rehearse his gaze,
when tears escaped or joy overwhelmed.
I have felt life and limbs burst from within my nurturing frame
to suckle softly then at a swollen heart.
In those moments,
I have known riches;
I have been understood.
And suppose my gentle words, unreserved,
were rushed by warring nations, as gold,
til hate’s cavern crumbled and peace engulfed every bruised heart;
or if my lavished kindness should smooth
distended bellies, one by one,
‘til no child forgot the comfort of bread--
What a trove of timeless jewels would I then know!
But if I have drunk the whole world
in robust satiation
yet never paused
to take account of deeper things
(nor cleanse the deepest parts),
all gain is loss
and my soul becomes a breath
of wasted vapor.
Author notes
ten thousand cicadas
Prompt Vocabulary: VAPID: lacking in imagination or interest, or devoid of spirit or animation
Allusion also to Mark 8:35,36:
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
In a list
A contest entry
- November Rounds #3 by CitrineSunrise.
700 points, ended January 12, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Love this write.
Great job!.
-Buster
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Incredible! Inspiring!
Wow ten, this is one of those pieces that prompts (ever so silently at times) one to survey the pieces of the heart; of the soul that too often is consumed by the 'glitter-rush' of a fool's passioned interest. That type that leaps before it looks; becomes sullen and is left to creep. What a remarkable write to me. I read this with a shivering sense; a nodding of realization. Just wonderful really. I loved this part especially:
"But if I have drunk the whole world
in robust satiation
yet never paused
to take account of deeper things
(nor cleanse the deepest parts)"
A well-deserved Silver for sure.
AsIThink...
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outstanding!!!
deep, powerful, meaningful, and a message we should all wake up and heed..I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DIDN'T GET GOLD.. it's golden in my mind lady! -
amazing.
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Damn must go read the gold because this is excellent.
C
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Wonderfully impressive...
This is deep in rich and vivid thought.
It's beautifully sad, filled with spirit and heart.
And the ending tugs at the soul.
Thanks for sharing your poetic heart.
Be blessed in all you ever do.
Tony
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The ending of this poem made me choke. It was filled with raw emotion that hits close to home. Congrats on your silver. Very well deserved!
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truly amazing ...
another masterpiece of poetry that combines excellence and soulfulness in a perfect way ...
your well of creativity is indeed inexhaustible ...
wonderful !
marion
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This is absolutely incredible writing. Bar none!
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this is beautiful, Ten, congrats on the silver!
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congratulations on the silver.
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"I have sipped the wells of Love’s dark eyes
‘til, in absence, I could rehearse his gaze,
when tears escaped or joy overwhelmed.
I have felt life and limbs burst from within my nurturing frame to suckle softly then at a swollen heart."
you have received so much well-deserved praise for this poem...all I can do is show you what meant most to me and say, thank you for genuinely stirring my blood.
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Thanks so much, Lane. I'm glad to know this stirred you. I know it did me when I was writing it.
I found myself in the car thanking God for all the blessings I have, and the beautiful things I have experienced. And thought again, what good things the future might hold. But even if those good things were world changing, incredible things, that the most important thing for me to consider and to manage is what is at the deepest part of me... and if I would have neglected THAT, what good would the rest of it have been to me? Kinda hard to think that way sometimes, but first things first, you know?
You are always kind to stop by and leave your thoughts and I am always thankful. That part of the poem was what meant the most to me, too! It was what I FELT the most anyway, so I am so glad that it was able to reach you as well. Thank you for letting me know. It means a lot.
ten
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Congrates on the Silver!
A very potent piece to captivate the reader's thoughts inside a much greater meaning than just a mere poem in a contest. You really do have a wonderful way about you, and your pen within is divine. Thanks for sharing, much love, light, and laughter~ Your friend, Timothy aka poeticweaver~ xo
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MY GOD..
This is so powerful, and moving! i feel uplifeted and enlightened..WOW lady ..Bravo, this should have gotten gold.
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Bravo! Absolutly gorgeous.Your description of the seasons all rolled in the first verse is nothing less than manficant. Point made how can we enjoy such things and not see...that is, remain blinded to those not as fortunate-to not speak out-that too is-wasted breath in and of itself. Peace
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"devoid of spirit" -- Really captured in this piece ten. Completely stunning.
Your first line really drew me in. It was just the right touch of abstract and imagery to grab me.
"In those moments,
I have know riches;
I have been understood."
This part really stuck out to me. It was like the backbone of your piece, I feel. And really affective to. By "know riches" did you mean "no riches" or "known riches"? Just wondering.
And your poetic tone. I don't know how you do it, but it just draws and captivates the readers into the piece - it isn't describable.
Congrats on a well deserved Silver, my friend.
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This poem is so beautiful and true in thought and flow.
It reminds me of of the scripture passage from the beginning of 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul compares mighty spiritual gifts to love: "If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal..."
I see the allusion to the Mark verse, definitely. I just thought of the Corinthian's one, first.
Thank you for sharing this masterful write, which gave me pause and touched my soul.
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Oh, absolutely! I definitely had those same verses in mind as well. Now that the contest has been judged, I will reply further:
Only God can look upon the heart of man. He gives many blessings, to the just and the unjust, both of whom often bless others in return. BUT, even if we live an abundant life on this earth, both giving and receiving, if we have not taken thought to manage our own heart, and to be pure in spirit, then we have done little more than become drunk on our blessings and our own good works. A fulfilled life is wonderful, but it does not necessarily equate with a clean heart. Good deeds are wonderful, even far reaching, but they are not enough. The heart must be pure to be redeemed,... SO, yes, the Corinthian verse most definitely applies here as well. Paul counted all his accomplishments, (many truly wonderful things) as dung in comparison to the treasures of heart to be found in Christ.
Thank you for your beautiful comment; I am so pleased that you were touched.
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Before I read the author's notes I recognized the Biblical reference as it is one of my favorite lines of Scripture. What does anything matter if we lose ourselves in the end? Could there be a more perfect definition of vapid? Your language is always so lovely and you find extraordinary images to tell of the beauty of love. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Wow, this is a work of a great mind, furthermore an exquisite heart. you are a sage, every word and sentiment in-between says so!
love it!
LL
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Thank you so much, LadyL. Your words are certainly generous, but I do treasure them dearly. Thanks so much for taking time to comment.
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yes the wisdom of the gospel crept into my thoughts as I was reading what good indeed... wonderful panoply of ideas and feelings leading to a wonderful message; life is far more than material gain, that matters little in contrast to the good that we do...the love we create and gather on the way... Excellent...PK
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Thanks once again for taking time to visit and leave your always welcome remarks. The message is so easy to miss, I'm afraid, when we get caught up in ourselves and in life...we can even be blinded by the good things. But yes, love is paramount in getting this journey right .
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Thank you muchly for thinking of me. Wondrous piece that captures the joy of co-creation. You hang words on a vibe I recognize wherein mothers see the answers to the world conflicts- Mothering. You unlock for me here the key to crossing sensory images, a path I have been confused upon. And with great satisfaction, I understand...
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Yes, the needs are certainly great, both on a personal and global level. Too often I think we rely too much on the wrong things in our search for answers. Thank you so much for your comment.
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Utterly fascinating in its revelation gift wrapped
in elegant imagery and astounding sentiments.
This write can make a reader pause, remember the world as family, then again, recall those neglected parts of self...
Blue
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Thank you so much for spending your thoughts and your words for a while here. The world is indeed a family; despite our differences in attributes and needs/blessings, we all eventually have the same important inner works to tackle. I truly appreciate your comment.
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Startling...
You were right about how I might experience this one. Such deep insights and bountiful searching; a remarkable exploration into the ways of men. Invariably, we get what we put forward I think. And so what a waste of our time and what a unlit end, to spend our days amassing messy throphies of regret in the end. This is what I've taken away from you extradinary penning on such an edgy topic to many. In these days when our time passes faster than the flipping pages of a calendar, we are seeing the mindless calamities everywhere. Many of us though, still chase what will never sustain us in a grander sense. It's no wonder that these lines really roused me:
"But if I have drunk the whole world
in robust satiation
yet never paused
to take account of deeper things
(nor cleanse the deepest parts),
all gain is loss"
BRAVO ten...on such a thoughtful write.
AsIThink...
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Thanks you so much for you amazing comment! Yes, you got it! There is just too much to consider to not get the main things right. It's the caveat for us all.
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Such is a robust wish in truthful seranade,
your loving ink to stain the world with eyes of neverland, but in the end your soul is sacred...lovely work nine plus one.....
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Thank you so much, Rich, for your lovely comment and kind complements. I really do love that phrase "to stain the world with the eyes of neverland." That's just such an awesome idea. You are too kind in your assessment, and I thank you.
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Oh my what a masterpiece! This is brilliant. It just shows me that I am merely playing the poetry game, whereas you are a true master with words!
This is such a thoughful, elegant poem
Gaylene
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Thanks so much, Gaylene, for these lovely words. If you are a player, then it is your move, and I predict you will Pass Go. I SO appreciate you taking time to leave your thoughts here.
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Hey Ten, do you get a kick out of making us mere mortals look bad or do you channel the likes of Shakespear, Browning, and Yeats in your spare time as some kind of New Age experiment?
This is absolutely SPECTACULAR !!! It reads with the beauty and grace of one of the classics we studied in school. You show all of us the potential of the English language--the potential of poetry. This is masterful!
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An experiment, huh? Hmmmmm, that could be very interesting. I'm not sure how the poets would comply, but if I can mess with your head a little, sure... pass the test tube, let's see what we can conjur up.
But seriously, thank you for the great comment and the exclamatory words!!! I speak the same language as you do, only perhaps not as well.
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