The clock struck twelve midnight
The candles burned and danced
All the guest were present
All somewhat nervous
Some even entranced~
It was just a plain round oak table
The candles a soft white
Nothing else present
Except the crystal ball in the light~
Eight blessed the table
Asking for guidance and care
Hoping, just hoping
Someone's spirit would hear them
Somewhere~
I called forth the winds
And the warmth from the sun
To soothe the weary spirits
Their journey just begun~
Our hands formed a circle
Never to break or unbind
Concentration was the key word
Psychic energy on our minds~
A vision suddenly appeared before us
A little girl in a pale blue satin gown
She reached out with her spirit hands
From her lovely face, a tear fell down~
She told us how she left this earth
Her sad voice was filled with pain
As we listened she told the story
Of how she had been murdered and slain~
The story was an old one
From year eighteen-o-three
She could not leave this earth while it
Remained a mystery~
Her name was Susan Barlow
She then was just eleven
And as she had been murdered, so
Her soul could not reach Heaven~
Her dear departed father
Had died several years before
Her mother had remarried
Before thirty days were over~
The new husband was father
To a daughter of his own
Who took immediate dislike
To Susan and plainly made it known~
The stepsister did everything
She could do to vent her spite
Made Susan's life a misery
Tormenting day and night~
If they were eating dinner
And Susan looked astray
The stepsister would snatch her plate
And throw her food away~
The parents gave no reprimand
For any act so callous
The freely left the favoured child
To exercise her malice~
The spirits tears began to flow
We could all feel her pain
The stepsister would not allow
Her dinner to remain~
But after it was finished and
dishes done at last
An agony seized her as though
She'd eaten it too fast~
And so it went day by day
With every single meal
The agonizing pains would start
No medicine would heal~
Eventually she could only drink
A fever gripped her now
The liquid tasted bitter but
She drank it anyhow~
It took ten weeks until sweet death
Granted the girl release
Her stepsister had poisoned her
Her soul had no release~
They buried her in secrecy
No neighbours were around
Her death was never notified
Her grave in unhallowed ground~
A girl's shadow glided toward a dresser
That had stood there many years
And Susan's spirit beckoned us
Though blinded by her tears~
She pointed to a lower drawer
And said" There you will find
The diary of my stepsister
Who treated me so unkind~
We found the diary and the story
Exact as Susan told
With horror and dismay we saw
The age-old tale unfold~
We read how that cruel stepsister
Had planned Susan's demise
With measured dose of arsenic
That no one could surmise~
As we read this tragic tale
And all the facts were known
Her spirit disappeared....
her soul
At last to Heaven had flown~
Author notes
Sorry its so long but do hope you like it
I guess you can tell by now who done which part lol
Thanks for taking time to read it and comment
It is appreciated
Susan and Hugh
Written February 14th, 2004
A contest entry
- "MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY" No. 12 by huguenauties.
750 points, ended May 30, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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I think you and Hugh make a perfect pair poetically. This is wonderful. It tells a tale that keeps the reader wanting to know what happens next. The details bring everything into focus, and allows us all to be seated with you. At one point in this poem it became impossible to know who wrote what part. Excellent! I wish you well in this contest.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you for taking the time to enter. We appreciate your talents. Best of luck to you
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I love a good story and this one sparked my imagination to the fullest. Uncle Hugh is a wonder to work with and you both did fasinating work on an extremely good poem. Kudos! Best of luck in the competition. A favorite for me.
Hugs and love,
Petratani
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What a wonderful collaboration and story, really a joy to read despite the sad tale it tells. You and Hugh write wonderfully together! The poem flows very smoothly, and to be honest, I really could not guess who wrote which parts. Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
~J.
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A lovely rhyming bittersweet story - it didn't seem too long to me - a good flowing style and a subject that kept me entralled to the sad but satisfactory end. Well done.
Cheers
Anne
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Dear Susan, A lovely collab between you and Hugh, and what a beaut story you two have written. I never knew Hugh back then, not until Joan introduced me to him on AP and we've been friends ever since, through him I met heathcote.
I'm happy that Susan was set free and able to move on.
It's a very endearing story.
Hine.
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excellent expression!!
Wow.......your words tell such a sad story. You have so many vivid images for the reader to absorb. It grabs your interest from beginning to end. Some people are just so evil! I do like the happy ending.
Best wishes in the contest!
Aurora 2012
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Dear Susan,
I certainly enjoyed reading the poem you collaberated with Hugh. It's a very enthralling tale of a ghost not at rest until her murder was solved.
Great Colb from the both of you.
Jen
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It often seems that ghosts need to be heard, and then they are free - and the living are like that too. This is a wonderful tale (is it fiction or not?) and I enjoyed reading it. Best of luck!
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Good story
Enjoyable story. Well written. Good rhymes. Flowed beautifully. Enjoyed reading this. -
Dear Molly,
I am touched and honoured that you have chosen, as your best, this story-poem that you and I had so much pleasure writing together (we should do it again!)
You were a great partner to write with - we didn't
cross each other at all. You wrote your bits, I wrote mine, they meshed together very well, I think, and we gradually unravelled the story as you had given it to me in a frame.
Do you remember another collaboration that we did? "Our Vanishing Friends"?
I think back on these with some sadness, remembering how much better your health was in those times.
Thank you my darling for choosing this as your entry. As I say, I am very touched. I hope I am allowede to applaud and wish you best of luck in the voting.
Much love and hugs, XXX Da. (Hugh R.)
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Wonderful!!
What a Collaboration You both have done and the tale told in Wondeful rhyme
Loved it!
This Gripped from beginning to end~
had me on the edge of my seat
Thank You for sharing this Sis!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Oh, I love ghost stories and this one is very good. A haunting tale of spite and hatred. How sad that these two step sisters could not have become mutual friends and sisters at heart.
A well told tale, Sis and I wish you the best in the contest.
love and
Dee
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Beautiful
This is a wobnderful poetic story. Well written and filled with such expressive flow. Sounds like it came from one mind. Very well written with perfect rythem and beautiful rhyme. Great Job.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie *Rose*
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Tis great to see the joint efforts of two fine poets--two masterminds at play! Bravo! And yes, you did give yourself away! ha Luv, Belle
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Dear Susan, I checked and saw that I'd commented on this way back before I really got to know Hugh, it wasn't until March that we started chatting and became good friends.
I enjoyed reading this fantastic poem back then and still do enjoy it. A good one to enter in our group contest.
Love Joan
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Great collaboration!
Sis, As I said before, this story/poem turned out really well. You and Hugh complement each other. You both know how to tell an engrossing story and make it rhyme! Quite an accomplishment! Good Luck in the contest!
Love,
Maureen
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Thnakyou for the link
This is a really great story. Of course being fiction anything can be written LOL.
Hugs
Jan -
Spellbound and experiencing chills!
Speechless! A moving and surpassing excellent poem that tells a story that held my interest from the first word to the very end. And then I realized I was mostly holding my breath throughout! 
You guys really wrote something fine, here! And I cannot tell who wrote what. 
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I liked how you make the story rhyme.. GOod job
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Exellent
Damn, a mystery well solved. This is well written and though out. It flows beautifully and the mistery parts fit perfactly. this is one I could read again and again. -
amazing .... lost sould trapped on this earthly plane are oft forgotten about and sometimes overlooked (or just plain ignored). Not only a good collaboration .... theres some good points raised in spirituality .... lost souls and inner peace raised here ..... definitely one of my faves ...... Andy
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Well done susan and Hugh...perfect...
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a standing ovation for you both
(think there should be a button for that...along with applause)
not only did you follow the "rules"
you went well beyond, engrossing your readers
you have my vote for gold (unfortunately, i don't get a vote)
~liz -
Now this was awesome and I loved it~ Great write to the both of you~What a story~I could not stop reading~Awesome~
Love that rhyme too
Best wishes to you both in the contest~Big hugs and much love~Desire 
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LOVED IT!!! The story just seemed to take me in. Like I was in a dream world overlooking this seance. wonderful job!!! You two work well together, usually a collaboration seems choppy...but this flowed well. Congrats!
~~Jenn -
Well done to you Susan and Hugh, you have told an excellent story here, it flows so well, you have done a good job of the rhyme too, you have also a good ending to a sad story.. Good Luck in the Contest. ~Katie~
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Susan and Hugh
This is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!
It wasn't too long for me, kept me in suspense
Sis, I might have to read some more of your partner's work
Happy Valentine's Day
Karen
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Sis, This story/poem turned out really well. You and Hugh complement each other. You both know how to tell an engrossing story and make it rhyme! Quite an accomplishment!
You deserve to win...I hope you do!
Love and Hugs,
<3 Maureen
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Yeah, it was long but it held my attention with rapture. It was so nice, and a great story. Not many times you find poems about this stuff. Wonderful write and I loved it
Love,
XMissMisfitX -
Very well written piece! You both did wonderful telling this story in rhyme
I very much believe in spirits & ghosts..those that roam this earth to justify their death..those that visit from time to time just to see what we are up to..
Seances, however,I stay away from..lol..i had an experience at a slumber party when i was very young where we held a seance..too much! never again! ~shivers~
well done y'all!
much love & peace
~Pamela -
Congratulations you bboth for the wonderful write!
It tells in very good details about a seance.
Have been part of one, long ago, and must to say, never again.
Very well written!
Good luck in the contest!
Mari
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Susan and Hugh,you have done a magnificent collab,it is brilliantly written,you cannot tell when one leaves off and other takes over.What a sad little spirit to die such an agonizing death,I am glad the diary was found so she could move on.Love to both of you~Joan~
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very well told tale interesting throughout it is long but doe not slacken so keeps the reader going. Well done!
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Something facinating and at the same time creepy as hell about seances. Loved this story though.... you have combined thoughts together well! Nice to know it had a somewhat happy ending....I just would like to know the evil stepsister floated the OTHER way.
Hugs you two!
Great job!
Mary ann -
Fascinating "story"...had me riveted all the way through. Thanks for this shivery poem....great Friday the 13th piece.
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super!!!!!!
really good,i enjoyed it
i felt like i was there
i read it three times
Edited on Feb 14, 2:16 because ''.
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