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an exercise in futility

Missing image
these eyes
a contaminated coalmine;

i scratch them out,
in search of diamonds,

grieving selfishly
for life not mine
to resurrect.

your suffering ate me alive,
but this is worse.

Author notes

Option 2:

http://rache-engel.deviantart.com/art/lets-be-human-no-more-78674855

Ryan, I miss you so much; I feel so lost, and I'm sorry for not being there to say goodbye. Rest in peace ♥

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In a list

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • LovingPhoenix
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! I'm sorry for your loss...
  • Lady Lamont
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Darlin' I know and feel more than you think. My love, my firstborn, I feel your pain!
  • K a t gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    this is a sad piece that you've written. to lose someone this close to us, is an incredible amount of pain, that doesn't often go .. the intense sadness, the emotions that this poem stirred up for me, go to a place that I don't often ever forget about. its still there in the back of my mind, and in my heart. to be left behind is much harder than most realize, and if they do, not all want to admit.

    s x infinity

    kat

  • This poem is full of so much sadness. I can feel the pain you feel. Of course it is not as great. I certainly can't feel the pain you feel. Only the person hurting knows how much pain they have. I simply had a taste of the pain you must be feeling. It still brought tears to my eyes. I love it. Your poetry is certainly something special.


  • x-Wilted Rose-x
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Laura this is amazing!! i love the first 2 stanzas, with the coal and diamonds reference

    great work!


  • intergalactic
    January 10
    Edit | Reply


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!

    This is amazing. I love your word usage here. Also the coal to diamond wordplay. Great job.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • Danna Hobart
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    I love the reference to the coal and the diamonds. The rest is very sad.

  • Jesaan gold member
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    A deep emotional write
    Heart wrenching.
    So sorry for your grief and loss.

  • Yellowdogpoetry gold member
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    Incredible writing, the pain is palpable!


  • KayJay
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    What a heart tugging write... you've imbued this with such sadness that the darkness goes unnoticed... a wonderfully emotional write.
    Ken


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is tragically sad. My heart broke with those final words, when you don't think anything can be worse than the pain, then you realise it can. Brilliant. Best to you in the contest and my condolances on your loss


  • Desire gold member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!!

    Oh My this is one Powerful piece that tugs deep at the Heartstrings
    I am sorry for Your loss~
    Your words evoke strong emotions and swells the eyes I'm Honored to have read
    Excellent this is~
    You have also been Hoodwinked by The Poetic Bandits
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Voice~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
    Best wishes in the contest too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • Sadpuppet
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    so beautifully written. i love this! this is always how i feel when i become heartbroken, always so lost. but anyways, well done!

1 - 14 of 14