these eyes
a contaminated coalmine;
i scratch them out,
in search of diamonds,
grieving selfishly
for life not mine
to resurrect.
your suffering ate me alive,
but this is worse.
Author notes
Option 2:
http://rache-engel.deviantart.com/art/lets-be-human-no-more-78674855
Ryan, I miss you so much; I feel so lost, and I'm sorry for not being there to say goodbye. Rest in peace ♥
In a list
A contest entry
- 13/30/30 Quickie by Sweet Impatience.
1200 points, ended January 14, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I love this! I'm sorry for your loss...
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Darlin' I know and feel more than you think. My love, my firstborn, I feel your pain!
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this is a sad piece that you've written. to lose someone this close to us, is an incredible amount of pain, that doesn't often go .. the intense sadness, the emotions that this poem stirred up for me, go to a place that I don't often ever forget about. its still there in the back of my mind, and in my heart. to be left behind is much harder than most realize, and if they do, not all want to admit.
s x infinity
kat
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This poem is full of so much sadness. I can feel the pain you feel. Of course it is not as great. I certainly can't feel the pain you feel. Only the person hurting knows how much pain they have. I simply had a taste of the pain you must be feeling. It still brought tears to my eyes. I love it. Your poetry is certainly something special.
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Wow Laura this is amazing!! i love the first 2 stanzas, with the coal and diamonds reference
great work!
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WOW!
This is amazing. I love your word usage here. Also the coal to diamond wordplay. Great job.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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I love the reference to the coal and the diamonds. The rest is very sad.
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A deep emotional write
Heart wrenching.
So sorry for your grief and loss.
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Incredible writing, the pain is palpable!
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What a heart tugging write... you've imbued this with such sadness that the darkness goes unnoticed... a wonderfully emotional write.
Ken
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This is tragically sad. My heart broke with those final words, when you don't think anything can be worse than the pain, then you realise it can. Brilliant. Best to you in the contest and my condolances on your loss
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Hoodwinked!!
Oh My this is one Powerful piece that tugs deep at the Heartstrings
I am sorry for Your loss~
Your words evoke strong emotions and swells the eyes I'm Honored to have read
Excellent this is~
You have also been Hoodwinked by The Poetic Bandits
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Voice~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet One
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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so beautifully written. i love this! this is always how i feel when i become heartbroken, always so lost. but anyways, well done!
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