the wind rolled in
assuming itself to be
some sort of god,
lost in the notion
to keep moving forward
instead, it stopped
unveiling its core,
just another beating heart.
I could finally see
the circuit-work and construction
of nature,
down to a tee
there never really was any mystery.
when I was young, in the worst of storms,
my mom would say "the wind,
it carries the whispers, spoken from
thirsty lips, looking for whatever
their water is"
and immediately after I murmured
I can't remember why or
what my dreams were
at the time,
but by the hope, still sitting
on my shoulders
I'm guessing they are yet
to be answered
and then, the wind, was
temporarily paralyzed
like I was all those years
until I found my answers,
this was my chance.
dug hands into skin,
soft from the precipitation of summer
and the rain that always falls
soon after
pulled out wishes on stars,
always to fade away
discovered rusted pennies.
lying to meandering reflections
and then, I found it,
sitting, waiting, slowly
dying -
even the best of dreams
can only last so many
thunderstorms, resounding
devastation
and mine was to be
the wind
Author notes
Verisimilitude: the appearance of truth or reality
*
by: Ryno
A contest entry
- November Rounds #3 by CitrineSunrise.
700 points, ended January 12, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow. Amazing poem Ryan... but really, can I expect any less from you?
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Another good piece. Thanks for the share.
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And congratulations on the bronze.
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Ryan, this is great poetry. It's deep and understandible; thought provoking and emotional. I love the simplicity used to clearly communicate complex thought. I love it!
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Wow, Ryan, how did I miss reading this? I think this is my favorite piece I have ever read of yours. It is so deeply reflective, posting questions and answers, and even questions again. I love the tone you have achieved in your delivery, and the wind is the perfect entity to portray your theme. Just amazing... and so deserving of the trophy!!!
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Wow! Thanks so much ten.
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The "folksy" and personal nature of this poem lent it such authenticity. After reading it I wondered if the entire poem gave the appearance of truth and if you intended your reader to question its truth. Good poetry should engage the reader on many levels, and I think you were successful with this work. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Aww. Thank-you Liz.
Thanks for the Bronze. 
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Oh do I love those nostalgic, snapshots-of-memory writes. Your descriptions are so lovely, I found myself getting lost in them and really stopping to think about some. I always wondered where wind comes from- I heard from the sea, the waves. Either way, this is lovely
Jeanette*~
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Beautiful
Right off the bat before I hit the ending I really loved what these lines said:
when I was young, in the worst of storms,
my mom would say "the wind,
it carries the whispers, spoken from
thirsty lips, looking for whatever
their water is"
that take sme way back to when I was a scared lil boy and did not like weather at all espcially wind and rains blowing together. any ways with that being said I really love the heart and soul of this write and all you put forth into this write. anyw ays over all this is a brilliant write and I really love that ending too and how it all tied in together anyw ays brilliant marvelous work as always Lil Bro and keep up the very good work. very best of luck in the contest
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that is cool. I love how you played with the wind in this piece. The first stanza and then the subsequent line afterwards are such an interesting beginning. Though the wind stopped, it kept the piece moving forward, which was really cool.
the one part that felt kinda awkward to me was:
"there never really was any mystery,
behind;"
since the behind is between a comma and a semi-colon, it just kinda hung there to me. it felt like "behind what?". unless I misunderstood that section (which is possible), it felt to me like you could remove behind without it affecting the piece negatively at all. but anyhow, just something that stuck out to me. *shrugs*
I definitely really enjoyed this.
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good idea. I agree. thanks for the tip & the comment, you
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