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Ashes

Ghosting,

Creeping,

Moaning,

Weeping,

Love of a mother,

Strength of a father,

Turn into ashes,

Crumble in hand.

Where is this love?

Why does it desert?

Absent without leave,

On this lonely battlefield of crushed dreams?

Where is this dream?

I followed it here,

Left a wake of light and joy where I had been.

Found that despair had filled its place

Leaking into my soul where I tried to patch the cracks

With clay and plaster and, finally, cement,

But nothing held.

                            And finally, when I found

That I held no more joy,

I threw my muddied heart against the wall,

Shattering it so that the shards flew back and hit my eyes,

And I became blind to my own pain.

And then I wept...

Author notes

http://www.loreleiweb.com/28/fant/00.jpg

cool pic, btw

thx, faded, it's a good contest

A contest entry

Mkay so i'm tired. pls dont judge me.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • checkmate-
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    great


  • liduen silver member
    January 19
    Edit | Reply
    *cries* That was sooo sad and sooo awesome. So I guess sad = awesome. Maybe...*handface*

    I entered this contest too...dun dun dun...so did phe...double dun dun dun.

    I know you'll do amazing in the contest because this is such an FREAKISHLY AMAZING poem.


  • Faded Existence
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    This was...

    amazing!!!!

    I loved it! Gah! Sorry I'm not in more of a deep commenting mood.. or a critical mood. But just know that if I were, i would have lots of great things to say about this! Thanks for your entry and good luck in the contest!!!

    -Faded

    and thanks, I jsut wish more people would enter. So if you have any friends... encourage them to! please ha.


    • my02U
      January 11
      Edit | Reply
      i will... HEY FRIENDS! ENTER THIS CONTEST IT IS SSSSSOOOOO COOOOOOLLLLLL!

  • AJishere
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    AWESOME POEM!IT WAS VERY DESCRIPTIVE AND AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    From AJ

  • checkmate-
    January 10

    Edit | Reply


    Good poem! Nice descriptions! And very, very sad... But I like it anyways! Especially the last couple lines

    -Paradox

    • my02U
      January 11
      Edit | Reply
      is it sad? i don't know where the h*** this came from... i wrote it but sort of it was JP... u no, my french muse who is incredibly hottt...


      • checkmate-
        January 11
        Edit | Reply
        yes... it was sad... wasn't it?

        I should meet him some time


        • my02U
          January 20
          Edit | Reply
          u would like him. he is hottt. did i mention that alread? w/ever. JP is hottt hottt hotttttttttt!

          02U


  • StarIlluminated
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    LILLI THIS IS REALLY GREAT!!! I really liked it. It was sooo amazingly descriptive and AWESOME!!!

    Lots of
    *KT*

1 - 20 of 20