I
that red balloon
the first one i let go
was marked on
messages to lost ones
all the things i wanted
to let go of
II
when thighs rub together
thoughts of pinches
and penises
take over
wishes of taking
my insides
out
for a date
and leaving them
on the side of the road
where i could watch them
disintegrate
in the rear view
III
when mystery bruises appear
on my flesh
unable to quite remember
what i bumped
i am only left
to assume
that they are repeat
offenders
of man hands
long ago left
IIII
when heart beats out
S
O
S
into the mattress
that i lie face down on
i can only imagine
that someone
somewhere is picking up
a pen
and trying to decipher
the news
that being
i am ready to love
again
IV
watching red
fade into blue
i think of only this
as i drop my bags and run
A contest entry
- Emotional Baggage by zochit2me.
700 points, ended January 14, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Extraganza No Limit by poets whisper.
900 points, ended February 16, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOLD DIGGERS ONLY (just for losers) by tarcus.
950 points, ended April 8, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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|Another off putting one with numbers as if I am reading different chapters and need to be told so!
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WOW!
this was id so good
its so intense
its like you have this dirty little secret that you want to tell me that your ashamed of
i love it!
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I like this a lot and really have nothing more to say than that. Thank you very much for entering the contest.
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Very emotional and 'true to yourself' piece. I had to read it several times to get the full meaning. Your imagery and metaphors are very well written. Outstanding work!
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the title of your poem, it looked interesting
so i took a chance and read it, even though i never saw your user name before
and it was what i was hoping for.
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Wow
I had to go back for a double take on this one. Just had to read it twice to get the full meaning. Your use of metaphors and creative imagery to tell a story is amazing. I think this poem has something everyone can relate to in one way or another. Well done indeed. -
"when mystery bruises appear
on my flesh
unable to quite remember
what i bumped"
that is soo me.. I have bumps and bruises all over but for the life of me ask me where I get them.. and all I can say is umm I don't know... lol this is a wonderful write.. I really like it!!
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"watching red
fade into blue
i think of only this
as i drop my bags and run"
so good, seeing the ballon let go, your past let go and you run away moving on and into new things
i really really like this
you shouls have gotten more than bronze!
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"when mystery bruises appear
on my flesh
unable to quite remember
what i bumped"
These words are oh so worth stealing.
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as in you want to steal them , or as in you think i stole them? i didnt and you can!!!!
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Noi darlin! As in they are so well said people will want to steal them!
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More than worthy of bronze. Loved the balloon imagery.
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thank you!!! i got yr note before i even knew i had won a bronze!!!
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the last line makes me knowingly smile as I can relate
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Damn. This is powerful. I loved every second of it.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Love this ending. Leaving the emotional baggage behind and making a break for personal happiness, screw what anyone else thinks...yea, I think that is the key. Got me thinking, good job.
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