Become Surreal
Something more than tangible
Don't drag on your heels
Enter into this fable
Why stand in line
When this is our time
Become Surreal
They're sublime
Gates to a strange land
Open eyes
Gates sparkling and grand
So sublime
So let me in
To find things left sacred
Make me feel
Something new something surreal
Just don't hold me back
Become alien
To surroundings that are given
Become not a blur
To me you seem vivid
Why blend into sheep
When we can move to a differant beat
Become Alien
Either stand around
Or make an eruption
Do something loud
Loud enough and the world will hear
Author notes
To you madeleine
Username- Abe Atomic
A contest entry
- YOU, ALL ABOUT YOU Enter Whatever (PWs allowed) by Intricate Wordsmith.
625 points, ended February 2, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy as Pie by Cyanide Dreams.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do ya think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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sometimes it's hard not to follow the crowds but you put up a good arguement for doing so.
thanks for entering -
Cheesy.
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The concept of breaking away from the normal was well expressed in your piece, and I love how it was directed at a love. This was a beautiful write, and it really showed the compassion in every line that you feel for your special one. Excellent write and good luck in my contest!
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great job thanks so much for the entering this is really great
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Ah, such a great poem. I love it. Be yourself and don't let anyone tell you to do anything different. Your rhythm was well kept throughout the whole poem and when you rhymed it didn't seem forced at all. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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amazing, very punk of you
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Ah, i had to re-read this a couple times because my ADD has become so terrible, butyou know
. I enjoy your way of writing, and what you compare it to. You can really take your writings and compare them to what you are going through. i dig it.
nice work as always.
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thank you
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AWESOME
i know it says become alien but it could also reference to angels 'gates sparkling and grand', 'something more than tangable'.. just some thoughts... also the other thing i see here is saying to be different and to make yourself known to this world, do something amazing..
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it is about being yourself and making your own way in the world, and it is also inspired by one of the most unique people i have ever met
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Wow this has to be my favorite out of all the poems you've written. This is very nice, and I'm sure Madeleine loves it. Great job
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