Spirals in Hades,
Thinning the sounds
Buffering faces
In pixeled places.
And who can blame us
For digging up gold?
For making these shackles
From what we’re told.
It’s cancer coal black at its root
Its steaming ink blood in my veins
It’s the windows down when I’m driving,
Driving you insane.
Another piece of me is left on the road
Like baby bird breadcrumbs for you to follow
Or at least that’s how it feels
Too hollow to swallow.
Gripped in armour mandibles.
Sucking the marrow from cannibals.
Dousing myself in holy flammables.
Mortified.
Watching my parts slowly fill the sky
A static swam of negative warmth
Like forbidden fruit,
Hanging, enticing, gloating in its lack of speech.
Perpetually out of reach.
Until tainted and decayed it drops to the forest floor,
Like a stone
Like a star
Where I am finally worthy.
A contest entry
- Control by Girl With Guitar.
700 points, ended February 18, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is heady stuff, indeed! This should be read aloud as it has a great sound to it--almost like Viking poetry. I don't really have a clue what it's about, but no matter. I really did like this....
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What a bizarre comment below...
I love this. To me, it's like you're in control when you write "Driving you insane" and the simple use of the word "enticing" but at the same time it's like you're losing control in saying "Another piece of me is left on the road" and even the use of "Spiral", as in spiraling out of control.
But my favourite thing here is the last three lines and the title. If I'm right, you've used them as metaphors in themselves. Stone, as in dull and grey. And star, as in shining and beautiful. But the one thing I find interesting is that both are natural, and everything natural is beautiful in one way or another. Also, stones can be exquisite, think of gem stones.
Beautiful write though, I love the imagery and metaphors all throughout. Thank you for the entry and best of luck. -
stone fruit, lodestar, things fallen, things followed
mmmm. my sweet piece of fallen fruit. i don't see the decay in your poems. not at all. perhaps i'm a little drunk on the fermentation; i can also see like the stars you fill the sky with watchfulness. i don't quite know what you're getting at with the stone and star fall, in the end and at the beginning with the title, but i think you may be subliminally following your own lodestar. and i think it's interesting that fruit with large pits, fleshy indehiscent fruit with a single seed called stone fruit, only fall when they are ripest. at their best. and when left alone, bring forth fruit again after their own kind. as for the steaming blood (say what?) you are hot, that's for sure, but i don't see you as a gold digger. if you are, confirm for me now. i have a lot of gold and i would throw it all at your feet for a taste of the fruit. good or evil. -stretchingmetaphoresphish
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