they stand in line
stiff and stark
rank and file
on the march
merciless soldiers
raised from hell
heft their siege
in endless swell
rifles raised
with bayonettes
they stab their way
with no regrets
shooting always
toward the brain
with deadly force
unfailing aim
for each one pulled
from out the race
a dozen rise
to fill their place
marching always
on the brain
marching till i
go insane
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Superb Plus
Again a very fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
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Nice to hear.
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i know how the littlest of those hairs could drive you crazy. not a good thing for an OC to have such distraction . on second thought, you have an excellent rhyming piece here for a change. so your hair issue managed to bring out the best, not to mention the real funny, in you. you should feel good to have made a lot of people laugh.
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I wasn't quite counting on the positive feedback this kulit little poem got. Wonder if it'll be the one poem I'm remembered by three centuries from now?
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lol! This is delightful! love, lane
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Glad you liked.
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I don't think this poem needs constructive criticism. I think it's wonderful, brilliant, and very different.
~Ashley
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All the positive response this strange little write gets! It's amazing! Glad you enjoyed Ash!
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A true poet can write about anything! This was great. celtic queen
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But my god girl, a true poet should never write about nose hairs.
Glad you enjoyed though!
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I once read a poem by a friend written about his...well... he was taking a bath, watching his...well... it was bobbing about in the water...and he wrote an ode to it! It was hilarious, if a tad inappropriate! celtic queen
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excellent / who woulda thunk it .
Why is it, whenever I have my hands full with a heavy load... one of those soldiers goes awol, sneaks out & attacks the fortress with a tickle?
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Yes! They do! Mine seem always AWOL--mine are ever in MUTINY!!!!! Aaaaahhhhggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
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this I like very much
Strangely wonderful
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lol glad you enjoyed. I definitely went off my beaten track here.
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it does you good
we all need to fall off the track now and then
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Inspiration comes from some strange sources
but you manage to meet it head on and produce some good verses. I can sympathise with this except that I wonder how yours manage to
.... stand in line
stiff and stark
as opposed to the clump of weeds I cultivate.
Jim
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Strange and prickly sources. Yes!
Well I'm constantly plucking my little pricklers out, so they're always stiff and stark, never a chance for them to weed out. Monstrous little moblies.
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