i left the door open while pissing, glassy eyes echoing back from the mirror
i heard your thousand faces asking me questions you'd never ask
i found myself asking the questions as i have for years
unintellectually spoken
yet still so very feared
in the dark my scars are pink, less red
and god is heavy in the shadows of our heads
white static like you get when the tv breaks and the storm outside
is coming in
she said, babe i'll listen
he said let me sleep with roots deep within your ribs
the homes made on the couch
were the closest i've come
to living yet
let me see his darkest sorrow
held in his hands like a child would
carrying a world of sand
to build his dream
tomorrow
promises made like beds
first white then blue
full of emptiness
Author notes
postal service- esque.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"i heard your thousand faces asking me questions you'd never ask"
AHH.
AHH.
AHH.
... that really did merit that much would-be pain because that was insanely good. "thousand faces" and "you'd never ask"...love.
You know how to incite a feeling in what you write.
"i found myself asking the questions as i have for years
unintellectually spoken
yet still so very feared"
Too good for life. Honestly. I want to plagiarize...
;
Jessica.
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a little bleak.
and yes, postal service-esque.
but def really god.
I lke this a lot...
pace, amore e musica
-dh ♥ -
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So, your recent batch of poetry is definitely a different style for you, and for the most part, I've liked it. It's less poetic, more acidic, and a lot deadlier. You sharpened your blades on the other poems and stopped pulling punches.
The poetic, the graceful in you poked back through a bit in this one, and you came out with some real gems:
"in the dark my scars are pink, less red
and god is heavy in the shadows of our heads"
and
"he said let me sleep with roots deep within your ribs"
especially.
I think that the others in your recent poems paint more of a definite physical scene, but these lines jumped out at me in this one. Kudos.
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