Masquerading beneath the sodium glow,
Picture an angel, amidst flecks of snow.
Hand of fate, lit the streetlight one,
Left to imagine, pretty details none.
Under her mystic stare, I'd walked
Into her ethereal radiance, I basked
Held my hand out, a little unwillingly
'Dance with me' , uttered impulsively.
Bridging realms of the real and fantasy,
She took my hand, drowned me in ecstasy.
'Tread not into the moonlight', she whispered,
'Whatever you want me to be', I stuttered.
Minutes past, the haze cleared bright,
In a tight embrace, beneath the streetlight.
Enticing was the moonlight, white and divine
Hands on her waist, lifted her into the shine.
A spectacle I never wanted to see,
With the snow, she flew away free.
Fate, brought her under the streetlight,
Freewill, lost her to mere hindsight.
A contest entry
- This Is Our Life by charmander13.
700 points, ended January 12, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"Picture an angel, amidst flecks of snow."
I see the angel and she is warm and welcoming, yet her warmth does not melt the tiny flecks of snow that fall upon her and upon the ground around her... I love the image. I feel her warmth, yet she does not melt the snow...
That is the bestest part of what I see in this poem... it is what will stay with me, though I am sure you had many other images to share it is the one that I was drawn to.
Dumbkiwaniwinkydodo! You are so cool!
Your Nutty Fairymother
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Thanks for the awesome comment! Nothing better in the whole wide world that a nutty-fairy-mother appreciating your work To be honest, when penning down, I was also stuck with that image and spent quite some time picturing it, but the angel wouldn't do anything more. She just stood there. From there on I had to sort of forcibly push the poem towards its lyrical end
Thanks again for the comment!
And yeah, still the same ol'..young.. Dumbkiwaniwinkydodo!
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Hi, this is a very lyrical poem- I like your imagery and your poem flows well.
Good job.
The mood and atmosphere is almost mythical and brings one to an elevated dream-like state.
Thank you so much for your entry and all the best to you!
Cheers.
Char -
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Thanks for the comment! More so for the opportunity.. I write not often these days and it takes some motivation like this to do some writing! Should've added something in the authors note but preferred it this way.. there's not much to interpret right? It's pretty straightfoward.. 'Let the girl have her way'
Good job eh? Not good enough to be pushed into the Finalists list though I loved the chance to write though, feels good!
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Haha I think it's a truly lovely write but... I admit that I'm looking for something a little more "angsty" here.
Nonetheless, I admire your cool attitude towards love... "Let the girl have her way" eh?
I'm just glad that this made you pick up your pen (or laptop) to write... and thanks again for entering! (I think I probably need to start a contest for coolheaded dudes like you next time haha)
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