Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

[ Outdated devotion ]

Outdated devotion
Meant tying birds
By their young feet
To the outside of
Crumbled cages
For their agonizing
To bring only what
Unhappily bleeds
Outdated devotion
Meant slicing clouds
Into adamant lines
That demand an
Allegiance of shapes
The confines of
Countries and flags
Into every amble
But the smooth face
Abruptly began to
Realize that ardor
And attachment
Were not traps for
The moving organs
That the moment
Of a relaxed smile
On the face of a
Lover means bounty
And the question
Of adherence means
Tears to the eyes
And a unfamiliar
Clarity of an angel
Lonely steps don't
Bring life's affections
When the heart plays
Arresting music
When it sees the
Life ardently aching
To align with another's
In blessed Devotion

Author notes

I love you.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Nicole Hanna
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Lots of great lines here. Images that pop. Thanks for entering. (SOrry about the brevity here, but I've got one day off work this week, I need to make it count by getting as much done as possible. lol)


  • Seamus McHeinous
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    this was very well written, although the punctuation of every line made it slightly difficult to read.


    • marmac
      January 24
      Edit | Reply
      I meant for the formatting to create a rushed, kind of frantic feeling. Thanks for the comment


  • PastelMoons gold member
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful
    thank you for entering
    ~Pastel

1 - 5 of 5