Soft tears fell like rain, shattering
like glass splintering on tiles.
Her lips quivered, sobbing
her story she tried to tell.
Shuffling tiny feet, kicked dirt,
gasping a breath, she played
with the bracelet her mum had
given her, trying to find the words -
that were ravelled like ribbons inside,
wanting her toy, tugging the hem
to her mums skirt, arms raised,
rays of sunshine caressed moist cheeks.
Auburn ringlets framed freckled innocence,
peeping beneath peaked cap.
Contented, secure in loving arms,
reunited with moon bear, she watched -
as a leaf swirled,
caught like a wispy cloud on a warm breeze,
pirouette to the ground -
landing like an ink splatter.
Author notes
Word bank
-- rain
-- moon
-- sunshine
-- story
-- lips
-- glass
-- tiles
-- dirt
-- leaf
-- cloud
-- bracelet
-- cap
-- bear (teddy)
-- ink
-- splatter
A contest entry
- The water doesn't ruin --x by Noir mariposa...x.
750 points, ended March 10, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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"Soft tears fell like rain, shattering
like glass splintering on tiles.
Her lips quivered, sobbing
her story she tried to tell."
What a sad opening
But it does well to tell the rest of the poem
Thank you for entering,
I wish you the best of luck!
Claire x -
Aww, hon this tells a beautiful story. It reminded me of my little boy, when he first started to talk and how he would struggle trying to get himself inderstood and the calm that came, once he got what he was after. Beautiful sug.
All the best
Emma
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Thanks hon for your fab comment, glad you enjoyed.
~sugar~
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Nice read!
With very compelling images to touch a heart. -
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Always a pleasure to have you read Greg,
valued and appreciated.
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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Oh my ! what a most moving poem
Full of imagery that captured within my mind hun
I felt, I visualized, and the whole piece gave me so much thoughts
Good luck to you
Julie x
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Thank you Julie, so glad you enjoyed
Appreciate you reading
~sugar~
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well done with the bank of words,you have made them come to life with this poem
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Thank you YK a pleasure to have you read
~sugar~
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It is truly amazing what you have wrested from the words here, and your form and the way you put the images together still linger in my mind. I found myself reading it like it was a rhymer, but no, there was no rhyme there. You elevated form and imagery to new heights, playing tricks on the mind, causing one to see things that weren't really there. This was one of best writes I've read in a long time; your poetry continues to improve and your poems continue to mature.
In other words, you done good, kid!
All my love to you,
Brazos
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Thank you B, for your lovely comment.
It is always a pleasure to have you stop by, valued and appreciated.
Much love to you
~sugar~
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A VERY BEAUTIFUL PIECE, INDEED - FROM A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
as a leaf swirled,
caught like a wispy cloud on a warm breeze,
A wonderful piece about a beautiful reunion. Baby - that uses all the words from the word bank perfectly filled tho the brim and overflowing with love and emotion. Thanks for sharing and GOOD LUCK in this contest with this. We will have a wonderful reunion too - when you get back from your mates when the weekend comes to an end.
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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Hi hon, where is me mate, the light is on and no one is answering LOL!
Thank you hon for your fab comment, always a pleasure to read and receive.
Love you Chelle xxx
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Beautifully Penned
This tells of such a beautiful reunion, and you used the words with perfection....I loved the emotional content and how happy the child was to see her mum.....excellent writing my talented friend....
novy
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Thank you Novy for your lovely comment
truly appreciated
~sugar~
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Pretty.
That is pretty stuff, sis. You've grown so much as a poet. Good one.
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Thank you bro, always a pleasure to have you stop by
~sugar~
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