I got me one goal in life, just the one mind you, and I ain't restin' til I get it. Some guys want to make a million bucks, others want to marry a beautiful woman, and yes, those is all good things, don't get me wrong, but they ain't first in my way of thinkin'. No, I'm happy with my ole lady Sally. She's gotten a mite thick over the years but she makes a wicked lasagna. I'd hate to lose that just over some pretty face. And as for a million dollars, well, I'm a simple man, It would just sit under my mattress, making it hard for me to sleep, if ya know what I mean.
No, I just got this one dream, and it's all Sally's fault. Since I retired from the Post Office, it appears I been under Sally's nose a mite, and so she bought me this computer. Now at first I didn't even know how to turn the new-fangled thing on, But I got this determined streak in me and I finely figured the thing out. Little did I know there was a whole world out there called the internet. People screamin' and squawkin', folks joinin' clubs, social groups they call them or some much thing, And some of that stuff is sure useful, like the weather channel, I can find out in seconds what the temperature will be in Nome, Alaska or in Dubai, wherever that is.
Well I found this one site, and I knew what my one goal in life would be. You see, I'm bound and determined to leave my name to posterity. I'm gonna get my biography posted on Wikipedia!
Oh I tried before, but they got some glitch there that keeps deleting my entry, All I end up with is this blue bar at the top of the page where my biography used to be, "Deleted due to irrelevance" or some such thing. Just as if Sagadahoc county's third runner-up for mailman of the year for1998 ain't relevant! But I'm determined to get my name on Wikipedia, so every day I log in there, and I type my bio:
Maynard Yemassee was born July 17, 1958 in Meddybumps, Maine. He is a Well known retired postal clerk who worked in the southern Maine area. Winner of three regional "Speedy Service" commendations, Yemassee is a long time member of the Loyal Order of The Moose, Chapter 102. He twice served as the assistant to the secretary, 1994 and 2001. He is a three time third place winner in the Pin-O-Rama bowl off. He is married to Sally, née Oliphant, chairwoman of the Ladies Auxiliary of the Loyal Order of Moose, serving from 2003-2007. Maynard likes to hunt and fish and watch Wrestling on Friday evenings. He has been on a diet since July 2008 when his doctor told him his cholesterol was too high and Sally stopped frying his sweet potatoes in lard.
It goes on from there. I try not to laud myself too much, make myself too big, it's hard when you done all the stuff I done. Some day them Wikipedia folk will fix the glitch they got in their system and will let my biography pass through. When it happens, I'll send you an email with the link, I bet you'll be wicked impressed.
Author notes
It's all true...every word...
In a list
1
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
What a handsome man. We could do a whip-around and raise money to have a badge manufactured, "I'm almost famous" for the chest. Oh and a Lady Sally Tee shirt with an Arrow pointing to a 'Yemassee' --- Ha as long as she is wide enough to accommodate all the letters.
--- A special entry ---- http://www.sallys-place.com/travel/oceania/mailrun.htm (while you’ve been eating wicked lasagne Sally has been out there advertising, making the hard yards in the company of a super postman. --- I can see the writing on the wall. --- Thank you. (PS: we could exchange before and after diet shots)
-
-
Thanks for the link, it was a pretty fascinating story. And I thought Maine was rural!
Sally is going to leave me? No more lasagna? This is a hard pill to swallow!
Thanks Wattle.
-
-
Oh well I can still help. A Sallyless Lasagna junky would need a new friend quickly. It's back to man's best friend. I have a recepe to attract the right one. http://lady.au6.com/treat.html --- It's a winner - this is 'us' creating that particular treat ---- http://lady.au6.com/cooking.html --- and the sampling --- http://lady.au6.com/sampling.html (love is very serious) ---- Think of all the exercise going for walks (in the snow). ----- Thank you Mr Moxie Master.
-
-
-
ha ha ha! I loved it. I don't claim to know you. But I still got a kick out of this.
-
-
LOL, thanks. One day I'll be famous, just check out wikipedia, you'll see, lol
-
-
Fun read
-
-
Thank you emi.
-
-
Mari's back yehey!!! okay LMAO on her comment, wickedpedia
I think they get to mention your complete name when in wikki...like real name ooh to be in wikki is nice, how does one get to be in wikki? I am not going to dream about it lol, my dad's name is in wikki though...it's through the internet that I found him.
-
-
Yes, good to have her back. Even if she does drive me nuts sometimes! lol
-
-
I'm shocked! You didn't mention Moxie on your bio, an incomplete wikipedia info, tsk tsk. Shouldn't that be wickpedia?
Funny one this story
-
-
Giving you the evil eye here...are you sure you meant this story?
-
-
Ah, that Yem's on a roll,
fortified with lasagna.
(A fresh batch no doubt,
not the lasagne/lasagna
being passed around
on Pixie's site?)
Be careful what you wish for.
ANYONE can post in Wiki!!!
And if the bio is about a Yemassee,
surely praise about prose and poetry
would be an outstanding feature!!
"...this determined streak in me..."
Now that is the Yem we know and love!!!!!!
M-C
-
You just keep pluggin' away thar, Mr. Yem and one of these nights when thar's nothing else to do, I'll turn on my PC and go to that thar wikoeedia and thar you'll be, all glorified and important with your biogerfy stickin' out like a sore thumb.
It'll happen, just you wait and see. And I'll tell all m' friends, "I knew him when...'
Dee
-
-
LOL, good one!
Thanks.
-
-
I saw the door was open and just wandered in. Can't beat a good lasagna. I hope Sally uses the recipe on the side of the Ronzoni box cuz they would know.
I'm already wicked impressed. Third place in the Pin-O-Rama Bowl Off is what did it for me.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
