A Mainer stuck here in California, but now I'm glad I am...I got me a dream.
I bought me some organic orange juice, some of that wheat germ and a bundle of overly ripe bananas. I even got me some tofu to make a meatless stir-fry, whatever that is. Ever tried tofu before? Absolutely horrid stuff.
I'm gonna eat all that wholesome bunkum, plus I'll walk 5 miles a day, jog when I am able. I'll lose 30 pounds in two months. And why? All because I am bound and determined to make that gal behind the counter of the whole food store mine!
I'm going to sweet talk her. Go into that store where she works, lookin' thin, dapper, and read this poem I found by some fella named Keats:.
"A hope beyond the shadow of a dream
My sayings will the less obscured seem
When I have told thee how my waking sight
Has made me scruple whether that same night
Was pass'd in dreaming Hearken sweet Peona!" ++
Of course her name ain't Peona, it's Myrtle. If she seems touched by the first four lines, I'll replace Peona with Myrtle. "Hearken sweet Myrtle," that sounds good, don't it!
Now don't think, because I was in that hippie store, that I'm some tree huggin' nut job. I like red meat just as much as the next guy. And I like my veggies from a can, I figure them preservatives is what keeps us alive.
See, I only went in that dang sissy store because I was plum thirsty, I wanted a Moxie, I'd of walked out of there faster than I would a Republican rally, only I saw her. Tall, thin, but with nice curves, the athletic type ya know? I came out of there with a Soy milk smoothie, of all things. But I left with something else too, a sure fire disease, Myrtle's gonna be my woman!
Now it don't matter to me that Myrtle don't know my name, or that I only know hers from her name plate. I know what I know, and she's the girl for me. I just gotta convince Myrtle of that, and as I told ya, I'm fixin' to do that!
I'm gonna walk right up to her in my tie-dyed peace sign tee shirt and I'll say honey, how bout you and me steppin' out tonight. I know this great place that serves tofu rice, bean curd dip and celery sticks. Then I'll turn on the old Maynard charm, give her a big smile, a bigger wink, then then I'll set to workin' that Keats fella's poem. She won't know what hit 'er!
It'll be a simple weddin' outside at the local park. "We got to keep things green. Keep a low carbon foot print." I'll say to win some extra points, And we'll honeymoon at some old campsite up at Big Sur, commune with nature, if you know what I mean. We'll buy a Hybrid car, move to Mendocino, run a little combination art store/veggie bar. When the first baby comes, we'll name him Che, or Che Che if it's a girl. Yeah, I got it all planned out, Me and Myrtle, its got a ring to it, don't ya think?
++ From Keat's, "Endymion"
Author notes
100% fiction. There is no Myrtle. 
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Damn hippies.lol
Tofu...like savory marshmallows. Often used to replicate gummy chicken (not to be confused with gummy dirt...AKA mushrooms).
Maybe you can win her over with a new pair of Birkenstocks .
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Of course Birkenstocks...I gotta round me some up! Probably will have to go to Freeport to LL Bean, but it'll be worth it to catch Myrtle!
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I remember you had a cow hand puppet, Myrtle
mmmmokay fiction
uh-oh hope the poetry and the works would work on her lol, I had my bestfriend complaining, he can't get a date even just for coffee cause he had the worst pick-up line lol
tofu...reminded me when I ate tofu steak at Gilberts at Bulacan with my Titas (aunts), yum lol (sorry if you don't know the place
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Tofu steak must be terrible! I don't mind it in cubes fried and put in stuff that has flavor, lol.
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I thought so too, but I guess it's the gravy that made it yummy . it really taste good.
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And Granny and Jethro were out in the truck...right?
Hope you didn't eat soy
just to impress Myrtle,
for it's not the joy
it's made out to be,
so posionous, so full of chemicals!
But with that accent, those word choices
you might have confused poor Myrtle
about your intentions!
Unadulterated Yemish fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smiling!
M-C
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Funny that you wrote this "pickup" story because I've been thinking about how a person might meet another person of interest.
There's a contest going for this topic... or there was... It's amazing how the universal BING might strike you just right, in the perfect location, and allow you to find the puzzle piece that completes your puzzle. I love your story because it is folksy and fun to read. Tofu is really good if you cut it in cubes (extra-firm tofu) and fry it in olive oil until it is browned... add a shake or two of dehydrated onions to it while it fries.
lol Melodies
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They have potatoes in Whole Foods.
You really have that there hick-speak down pat.
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pricey potatoes. I went there a few times when I was in California, I'm just not a California kind of guy.
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Whole Foods has great rotisserie chicken, j/s. I go there occasionally.
Is this work of fiction set in Brigadoon or will it be with us for a while?
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This one is just for fun, no need to delete it to avoid a possible misunderstanding.
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