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I think it's not to be

 

Sally keeps her lips sewn shut,

and keeps to herself.


Subtle hints and

                   longing looks

soft and sombre, gentle notes

carried in the wind,

a foreboding tune twisted in

                               aching desire.


Awkward steps with legs awkwardly

stitched, yearning to be

                                     closer.

Yet still obscured.


Wistful glances and dreams of

                          beautiful romances

lie heavy beneath the

rags on this doll.


With drawn sighs and a worn heart,

Sally dejectedly departs.

 

 

Author notes

This background was made for me by James Oakley, i will ask you don't take it, and if you do and use it anywhere please credit him for it. Thank you.


Obviously inspired by Nightmare before christmas. Sally and Jack and their love, and how wrong she was when she sang that song

 

 

possibly come back to edit...

 

sorry about the font colour, i cant find one that goes over this well.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • pinksnowboots
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't seen the movie and this is still really good. I love the unique form. Congrats on your gold trophy! You deserved it!


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the movie, and I love this poetic interpretation. Nicely done, and congrats on the trophy.

    Sincerely, MJ.

  • Eusebius
    January 12
    Edit | Reply
    A sad, dark, but otherwise a very lovely and romantical piece of poetry here! bravo!!


  • Dorian-Gray
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    Love it. Thanks for entering. I especially like this part.
    "Subtle hints and
    longing looks
    soft and somber, gentle notes
    carried in the wind,
    a foreboding tune twisted in
    aching desire."

    You've done a great job at capturing the right mood in this write. I love 'Nightmare Before Christmas' and this is almost exactly what I was looking for. It just captures the feeling I was after.


  • MorganVonDarque
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is really sweet and poignant. I think it describes Sally well as a mixture of greaceful dreamer and little monster ^^


  • chilali
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow! I loved this! The Nightmare before Christmas!! Hehe. A great write love! This should do very well in the contest. All the best to you.

    Much love
    Ylova

    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 10

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the comment =) I hope it does well i spent a great deal of time perfecting it haha xD


  • couldbeworse
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    loved this write especially:


    Subtle hints and

    longing looks

    soft and sombre, gentle notes
    carried in the wind,
    a foreboding tune twisted in

    aching desire


  • film noir
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    hey hey hey
    Sorry, I was having an Allister Deacon moment. *nods*

    Okay. I'm going to break this comment down by my favorite stanzas.

    First: My first thoughts was that a whole lot of keeps, but after I read it a couple of times. I found that part genius. It reminded me of past poets.

    Second: i love the alteration in the second stanza: soft and sombre, tune twisted.

    Third: This is when you sort of started reminding me of T.S. Eliot. It was the 'awkward' and 'awkwardly'

    As you can tell, I really like this poem a lot. You better place. o.O *looks at dorian all shifty like* jk, Dorian. Or am I? dun dun dun

    - Aly


    • morgana raven Greeters member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you verrry much for the comment xD too bad about the font colour -_-

1 - 12 of 12