Rain tapped the windows
and I could hear a beat, mind-made music
words came too...
how the days seemed to yawn
like a fat lazy cat, nestled in warm sun
one side toasty, the other, turned slow
even in the cold and spray
there were beginnings of the new
colors on grass, violets near blue, and bright yellow
eyes look deep and then retreat
to panes and gathered drops
reflected bronze of skin, dark steady eyes
and how tomorrow seems so different
a flow between winter and spring, winds
and cold make longer and longer pauses
inside I feel like the cat, as I sip time
from a fountain of moments and miracles, to savor
just how much the days have changed.
A contest entry
- a year in the life by Cat.
6000 points, ended February 14, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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thanks so much,
mary
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amazing
wow, this is such a great poem, i love the similes you use and it flows perfectly.
Holly. -
i do love the ending to this fine write
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inside I feel like the cat, as I sip time
from a fountain of moments and miracles, to savor
just how much the days have changed.
Wonderful.
Love,
jin
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Rain tapped the windows
and I could hear a beat, mind-made music
words came too...
(((interesting opening stanza... at first i wanted to take words out and change it... but then i woke up and found the beat within the way you have it... duh... and i feel kind of dorkish missing it! lol..but now i found it and its unique and I definately wouldnt change a thing to it!)))
how the days seemed to yawn
like a fat lazy cat, nestled in warm sun
one side toasty, the other, turned slow
(((ok so you know my weakness with the whole kilten issues... lol.. i love it when my cats lay in the warm sun and know exactly what you mean but turned slow...i liked how this made me feel the warmth inside, however i can feel a chill still outside with what isn't said- that is good!)))
even in the cold and spray
there were beginnings of the new
colors on grass, violets near blue, and bright yellow
(((ahh and here is the cold mentioned as to validate my feel in the gut earlier- very neat. I like the lead almost feeling to yellow but with a space to eyes... pansies always have the cutest faces and that was a moment where i went for a second before i was pulled back to the panes.. eyes to me meant two things there and i liked where i went.)))
eyes look deep and then retreat
to panes and gathered drops
reflected bronze of skin, dark steady eyes
and how tomorrow seems so different
(((i like the moment of thought... how many times have we all contemplated something looking in the window beyond the wet windows... I liked again where i went in what wasn't said... i go to my own place of how tomorrow seems different- i like how i was subtly lead there)))
a flow between winter and spring, winds
and cold make longer and longer pauses
inside I feel like the cat, as I sip time
from a fountain of moments and miracles, to savor
just how much the days have changed.
(((ahhh and just like us humans mother nature cannot seem to make up her mind in your month either-
i liked how you showed me days becoming longer without telling me - pauses was such a good word there.. Thank you for this entry - it was a beautiful write and I enjoyed it)))
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Thank you so much... Change is how it feels these days, and the days really do seem different, i enjoyed writing something light, nice change of pace... Thanks for all...PK
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Your March 'feels' cosy. I liked the fat lazy cat imagery, very original and so well related to a day as you showed here.
Well done with a poetic time of the year
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