A scared abused girl only 5,
Her dad was nasty and her mum had died,
No friends to talk to,
She didn’t understand a lot,
And she cried everyday too much,
And one day she woke up,
Her father got a knife,
And her heart went pop,
The end of her life.
A contest entry
- 8-Line Poems by Daire.
550 points, ended January 23, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Dark Writes! (Prewrites welcome) by Stardust Memories.
700 points, ended January 12, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - IN REMEMBERANCE OF RECENT CHILDREN KILLED DUE TO NEGLECT AND ABUSE by RareFlower.
1100 points, ended February 2, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1509 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow how sad that pore little girl my dad was like that he did alot of things to me one thing i am gratefel for is he never sexsully hurt me but other have i hope that everything is ok with you if you ever need to talk i will be here for you thanks for sharing great job on the trophy
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to the point
I like this,,, It was to the point and nothing hidden. It made me angry, Which is veery much appropiate foe this contest. You are very good at making a point in writing. Love and Light
RareFlower
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This is pretty dramatic stuff and two lines in particular stand out: "Her father got a knife,/And her heart went pop"). However, it might've been better, especially in terms of this contest, if you left the last line out (as it makes it a 9-line poem). Still, no dq. A good effort.
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a bit morbid but it gets the point across. i like the tone it is written in.it has great depth but does not complicate the issue that is being conveyed. my best to you in the contest.
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scary
you made me scaredd well done i love itx -
Wow very sad, I liked this write,
Great emotion, Keep the pen going.
And good luck, Thanks for entering
Tash.
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*Tears*
This is a very good write. Just so sad... I actually had a few trator tears escape as I read this... it's a great poem keep it up little poet...
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i actually said 'ew' when i was done reading it. haha not too sure why. but thats sad
a really great write though
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great write ...
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Wow thats a great poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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this was great
amazing i love it
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