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Friday: She sees the Watermark


i remember; how
you liked to trace salt lines down my back
linen dress loose
sunhands would span my spine

expected
- dry-mouthed
osmosis ceased
the route to your mind
dwindled like a sudden summer shower

umbrella eyes dared me
yet no one walked in the rain
parched horizons placated my body
fingertips to spaces; dig
where boney facets met flesh

back then
under the dazzling glow of lightning bugs
we danced skywards
as geminids delivering angels

now-
rubbing handcream into hardened crevices
i search my palms
for an inkling of you

just a piece of glitter
from a forgotten man





Author notes

month - June

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • Suzanne Dia
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know how I missed this..

    I have well given up on and let go of the dead man

    but you know

    sometimes at night
    I can still feel the heat of his hands on my back..

    I don't think they ever stop haunting

    do they?


  • Cat gold member
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    very good.

    thanks gillian

    m


  • Grunts Girl gold member
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    wooo hooo iwas right june LOL

  • Grunts Girl gold member
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    i remember; how
    you liked to trace salt lines down my back
    linen dress loose
    sunhands would span my spine
    (((sunhands... span spine... i just adored how that rolled out of my mouth.... I like the establishment of salt- makes me think of heat so before i peek its a summer month so subtly told here and yet i think of salt lines for something naughty as well lol)))

    expected
    - dry-mouthed
    osmosis ceased
    the route to your mind
    dwindled like a sudden summer shower
    (((interesting way to put this... i almost want to remove expected because i get that feeling with osmosis ceased - i dont know completely why but i do after i read it a few times...i love the wet/dry factor and slow/sudden factor within such simplicity in this stanza came a lot of emotions and thoughts)))

    umbrella eyes dared me
    yet no one walked in the rain
    parched horizons placated my body
    fingertips to spaces; dig
    where boney facets met flesh
    (((your nuts... umbrella eyes... lol I loved it. I think this was your meat- this was the stanza for me that is the best in this entire thing. There is such a want and desire in this memory yet it is umbrella'd itself under insecure silk.)))

    back then
    under the dazzling glow of lightning bugs
    we danced skywards
    as geminids delivering angels
    ((lightning bugs... this is june or july!!! lol i cant wait to look i hope you tell me in an ... anyway---
    i love the use of geminids--- i wonder though should delivering be delivered? since geminids are meteor showers right? i think lol... it would be like saying the meteor shower delivered angels... just thinking there thats all...
    i loved the warmth in this section... the peace and comfort)))

    now-
    rubbing handcream into hardened crevices
    i search my palms
    for an inkling of you

    just a piece of glitter
    from a forgotten man
    (((i adore the hardened crevices and all that shows me... aged life to me and that word hardened means so much more to the personality at this moment than the actual hands...
    you know as i play with this... i almost would remove the last two lines and make it your title... and end it with 'for an inkling of you'...
    a piece of glitter from a forgotten man- dunno... just a thought that works in my opinion - and yet again that is all it is--- an opinion ... eh you should know me by now.
    this man will never be forgotten from what i feel here... it is funny how sometimes being with someone for 5 minutes can hold onto your soul for eternity- just where i went.... i loved this gill... thank you so much for this entry))



    • NurseChilly gold member
      January 26
      Edit | Reply
      you are one of the best readers and critiquers on here Heidi, even if you're judging a contest, you give fine and fair words to show you've actually read a piece. thank you my friend


  • michael thomas gold member
    January 21

    Edit | Reply
    Your words speak so well as poetry of the best. I love how you keep things real and tell a story in your poems. I admire your thought links and musical sounds.

    michael


  • misselaineous
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    all that glitters is not gold
    love to read you hun x

  • Rowan gold member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Your mind amazes me continually.


  • J.J. Sass
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    There is so much about this I love Gill - from the 'salt lines' and 'sunhands' to 'umbrella eyes' and 'dancing skywards' and so much in between. This is soft, sexy, playful and sad.. what a combo! Wonderfully done, as always
    Best wishes in the contest!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    June must bring better memories, start build some and get them very warm by Summer!
    Ah, I like how you wrote this, it's sad but damn good!

    I like your avatar too, is that Johnson & Johnson talc, one that leaves us with that soft baby smell?


  • ca ne fait rien
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    Oh was this the Italian? It tastes of Ambre Solaire and smells of Summer and hope. Last two lines, excellent.


  • chloris
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    my shewoman! tell when you're done.

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