When I was young and fair I walked this world alone,
for love had come and gone already, none to own,
and living ends in death and always friends depart,
so young to know that tenderness would break my heart.
We children grew and flew as leaves before the wind
and one by one, my company of kin had thinned.
It seemed a better course to hold myself apart,
so young to know that tenderness could break my heart.
Adventures and new ventures came and went,
resources were developed, sums of money spent;
discouragement and failure threatened from the start,
so young to know that tenderness could break my heart.
But then a special one appeared, the one with whom
I could discover open hearts have so much room,
and learn together love and life can be an art;
so young to know that tenderness may break my heart.
Author notes
form for the contest - hexameter couplets with refrain.
In a list
A contest entry
- When I was Young and Fair (or Handsome) #152 Winklings by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended January 23, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thank you for reading!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Congratulations on the Gold. I like the repetitive line. It seemed so sad at first so I was glad there was a happy ending
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Incrementalism in refrain
functions well for you: would >> could >> may.
Life from first awakening of the promises of love to the wedded knowledge of it: an emotional, spiritual, physical and intellectual journey. For modern poetry, even in classical molds, one expects the best poetry to operate on an imagistic level unlike the rationality of QEI.
The poem is organically a whole. This, compared to other efforts, is a virtue in this contest.
Thank you for the projection of motive, thoughts, ideas and experience.
Ron Wiseman.
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Thank you Ron. You always find so much worth comment in a poem, your articulation of technique and theme and appreciation of humanity make receiving a comment from you a pleasure. Thank you for recognition in this contest, I am honoured.
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Your story in brief? Beautifully written.
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Thanks Venu
Only part of me, the rest belongs to the poem.
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I agree with Joy and Amera - this is an accomplished piece of poetry. Very well done.
Bill
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Beautiful words ...
The interconnectedness of thoughts is a most glorious thing. When my mind can drift with your thoughts and see a resemblence of deja vu shining through, it makes me feel at peace. I so enjoyed your poem,
thank you! j
y
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This is really wonderful! You chose the perfect refrain to instill the mood of the poem in the reader's mind. The flow and rhyme is world class and the emotional imagery is captivating.
Love,
Amera♥
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