lie beside me
on warm adobe bricks
with a flower
tucked behind your ear;
press softly
against my chest
while the stars hang
on cello strings.
pluck them gently
when the bluebird’s song
carries through hills
on a lofty note;
in a quiet fog
near the wooden bridge,
we’ll find love
with nervous hands.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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this is very beautiful, soothing almost. and the "nervous hands" bit is a delightful ending. really. I liked this a lot. <3
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Lovely expressions and build up to the end. Not sure I like the word 'nervous' in the last line, for the rest of the poem has no hint of nervousness, just mellow with glorious love. (My take for the last two lines: "We'll submit to love, with subtle hands." )
Your words really set the scene for a romantic, sensual interlude. Well done...alby
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oooh, this is very sexy in a sweet way. I love this.
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omg, I think I just fell in love!!!!! 
though don't think my boy would appreciate that . Great job on this and I'm glad I read it, you have a really noticeable talent 
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this is amazing, its so beautiful!
i'm incredibly jealous of your talent
'we'll find love with nervous hands' is my favourite line, sooo beautiful
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This is beautiful. I wish I could write like that..
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"with nervous hands."
Holy ass of Darwin; you're such a piece of awesome.
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Wow I loved that
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hey, that is beautiful ... the final stanza ... bluebird ... stars hung on cello strings, .... plucked yet
are kidding me ... like wow, you rok, my man
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Love, Thoughts, Romance,You have captured this
I've pressed softly against a chest, what a wonderful feeling it is to be with this man in my case, whom I loved...Under the stars, in a quiet fog,I have not placed the wooden bridge yet, but I'm sure it is there...I've plucked gently, with lofty notes...Bluebirds are awesome.()The Title Sings your poem like prayer prays you.I think in the first line I would have used Lay Down....I like settled hands, thay know they belong there.
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It's all true
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beautiful imagery in this write.
press softly
against my chest
while the stars hang
on cello strings.
great write yet again.
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I love what you're aiming at here. I am fighting with myself not to see it as being just short of 100% by being a wee bit precious. Lines like the one about stars hanging on cello strings, and finding love with nervous hands, could go either way. I'm going to come down on the side of this being a three-clappy poem.
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And once again you leave me happily breathless with your words, Joseph.
while the stars hang
on cello strings.
&
we’ll find love
with nervous hands.
Those little bits are definately my favourite, they're so nicely soft and tentative, but have beautiful imagery.
Lovely.
Ashley A. Wolfe
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You have combined tenderness and beauty in such a lyrical way. I love this... Bravo!
Mariana
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this slays me....(that is a feat, you know)
bluebird is lovely; although i think redbirds have prettier voices
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this is so beautiful..
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Oh that is just lovely !!!!!
Can see the imagery so clearly.
You may find a few people laying beside you...ha ha !!!!
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aw. memories.
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Aww so sweet! Lovely. Great flow and vivid imagery. I could feel tender love coming from this. Bravo!
♥ Kathraina
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Sensitive...and I love stars and anything written about them so to say they hang on cello strings was an wonderful image. Blessings.
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Nice, delicate, I enjoy romance pieces like this. Very effectively written! I appreciate the style.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
i am sure the sweetguy that you've locked up in a cage wrote this poem...
this is just beautiful.
and the sweetguy surely was inspired by oasis...
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Perfect title! This is just beyond beautiful. I love the imagery and the word choice. So very pretty and sweet. Hehe! The second and the third stanzas - my favorite Love this! A lot.
Love and best wishes,
Ylova
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the sweetest sap from the tree
this is seriously great.
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