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jisei 3


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

the last shadow

to leave the old house –

I don't look back
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

jisei is poetry written at the approach of death - this one is written as 4-5-4 haiku

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED !!!

    This is an amazing write, short, direct yet deep with meaning. The finality sensed give a chill. I will have to research the jisei poems for myself! Well done master poetess, write on! Thanks for sharing.

    You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today because WE CARE!


    Dennis


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    Pack for heaven:
    Oreos, donuts,
    and milk, of course.

    I'm starting to get the hang of it!


  • motel silver member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply

    so many words come to mind : simple, delicate, accepting, and of course, beautiful.
    thanks.

  • Thor-201
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    perfect! A great write.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    The way it should be, quiet, calm and definate.

    This places beauty in the end, in the leaving of the house.

    Buddy


  • Tirrell
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful glimpse in imagery!
    The short lines of the 'Ku evoke emotions
    and imagery, wonderfully wrought here.


  • LunaSilverStars
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    wow, that gives me the idea of a old southern plantation and someone passing and moving on to the afterlife..


  • sticksnstones
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    very dark, nicely done,
    thankyou for the criticism


  • Draig aine gold member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply

    word perfect

    well done

  • Bad Bill
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    The lamp burns low
    one last flicker
    before I go

    I've never come across a jisei before, Mairi. Good form, and you do it full justice.

    Nice one,
    Bill

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      January 8
      Edit | Reply
      It's simply the kind of thing that, say, a samurai would compose before suicide, or really anyone when death is imminent, and the mind is especially aware. I use a haiku to convey my own jisei (I have actually written several).


  • IronMaiden1236
    January 8
    Edit | Reply

    ~bow~

    Last breath
    The winds of eternity
    You good
    :}
    (what font is this??)


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 8

    Edit | Reply

    so this is it
    my sister's near death
    that's a bugger!


    What redbird said!

    or Not Bad!
    Take your pick

    You badass 'ku mistress you


  • redbird
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    [on the comment below...wtf?]

    anyways, you kill at 'ku. seriously, i mean this has so may applications and interpretations. it just lingers... (:

    youre a badass 'ku master, mairi


  • Kathrin
    January 8

    Edit | Reply

    sucsess

    this achieves both the format required and conveys the image you want it to in so few words well done and best of luck kathrin xx

1 - 25 of 25