Dancing on ice with the world in my hands,
and finding the promise tomorrow left me,
with prisms of snow, lit falling and free;
That cover the world like shifting white sand.
Living is laughter when nothing demands,
on cold winter mornings with nowhere to be;
Dancing on ice with the world in my hands,
and finding the promise tomorrow left me.
So with the new year, I now understand,
that as the sun sets like a warm cup of tea,
I find with the morning I also agree,
and sleeping and schedules that aren't as planned;
Dancing on ice with the world in my hands.
Author notes
Rondel:
A French form consisting of 13 lines: two quatrains and a quintet, rhyming as follows: ABba abAB abbaA. The capital letters are the refrains, or repeats.
I'm still in winter break from school, and finding that sunrise on a fresh snow is beautiful enough to get up for. I'm primarily a night person, but something as amazing as that can convince me (sometimes) to leave my bed. Plus, I have the time to just sit and watch the world. Anyway, that's kind of what this is about.
In a list
A contest entry
- Show Me Some Form (Contest) by Paloszoo.
1000 points, ended January 23, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did it work for you?
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Bandits UNITED
"Dancing on ice with the world in my hands" is so... poetic!
I love winter and poems about winter make me happy, which is what your poem did! Fine writing! 
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Bandits United!
What a beautiful form, I don't think I've seen this before, you captured such wonderful imagery in this piece, best to you in the contest too
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Bandits United!
What a beautiful Rondel!
This is so gracefully written with wonderful imagery & choice of words. I found myself peacefully rapt in this read & delightfully surprised by its finesse. I'm glad this won HM but I believe this is worthy 
of Gold. Keep entering this in Contests, you're sure to get one! 
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Bandits United!!
This is a very beautiful piece. I love the form that you used. Nature is such a beautiful and wonderful thing to be inspired by. I loved this piece...great job dear bandit. And thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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Bandit's United!
There is nothing quite as picturesque as snow and I liked the way you described how it made you feel - the suggestion of life's infinite possiblilities just waiting around the corner. I also liked your image of sunset "warm tea" which surprised me and I thought worked well. This is a difficult form and you have made it look simple. Thank you for posting.
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Bandits United
Although I do not live in snow country I can relate to the pleasure of a scheduleless winter break. I have often wished for a couple of weeks of flakes to add some variety to the fog-shrouded shore. I enjoyed your imagery and rhyme and have only one small critique. The first stanza needs a subject. The first person singular is implied, but it is really one long phrase. Congratulations on your emerald trophy. Peace, Liz
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BANDITS UNITED!!
This is a wonderful nature write that seems so optimistic I got a glowing smile to start my day and think about the beauty of nature and life itself. Thanks for sharing your talent through your delightful writing.
You have been Spotlighted by your Poetic Bandit Family
because WE CARE!
Brother Dennis
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Bandits United!
Lovely Rondel, Sweet Pea ~ and your author's note made it even more enjoyable to hear such a beautiful sight would pull you from your bed!
I love to see young people trying out their talents in from poetry, and here you''ve done wonderfully. COngratualtions and keep up the great poetic work!
Enjoy your day to shine in our Bandit spotlight!
Lou x
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Bandits United!
Congratulations on the HM
This is a beautiful poem to read; I've never seen the snow but would love to one day and this poem makes me want to even more Soft, majestic and full of hope and light this poem is just gorgeous
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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BANDITS UNITED!!!
Oh I can so relate to what you wrote in this beautiful Rondel. I love to watch the sun rise or set over snow covered land. That's nature on its purest.
~Titia~
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Bandits United!!!
This is a magical poem, with wonderful imagery. It is lighthearted and cheerful, with a feeling of contentment. Very well crafted, and a joy to read...
Love & light
Debbera
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Bandits United!
This was an exceptionally well-done rondel. Filled with longing and lovely imagery. You did a lovely job with this bit and I really enjoyed reading it - about five times!
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BANDITS UNITED
I have not tried this form yet. But I see you did it so well
"sleeping and schedules that aren't as planned"
and so, I like the ease in which you find yourself.
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BANDITS UNITED!
Treasure of a write! So glad to read your whimsical delightful lines..Bookmarking!
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BANDITS UNITED!
A beautiful use of form and you have beautiful rhyme throughout your poem. And what a wonderful world to look out on, and you let it inspire you with this lovely poem.
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BANDITS UNITED
A very beautiful form of poetry and what you had to say in the porm made it just lovely. I like the flow and rhythm and the deep meaning of it. Congrats on being hit by us. Keep up the lovely penning.
God Bless,
Sam I Am
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Bandits United!
This is a beautiful poem I really love the line about schedules not being so planned - and of course the one about tomorrow's promise I love the form that you have used - and you have done it well! I wish that my winter was like the one you have described - I'm drowning under all the work I have to do - but this poem gave me such a stunning image that it let me breathe gorgeous!
Polly
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"and finding the promise tomorrow left me,"
That was absolutely beautiful; it's the type of quote that you feel you should be seeing as a contest prompt in itself, I bet you would get some very memorable writes from it; that was excellently worded, definitely my favourite part of the poem!
You gave us a lovely peaceful view of the snow; I'm not a fan of snow at all, but while reading this, I really felt like I'd love to look out the window and see a blanket of snow on the ground
Thanks for entering
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P.S. It worked for me!
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"Dancing on ice with the world in my hands"? What a wonderful first line! I'll be back tomorrow to comment more. I'm exhausted. My Dad recently died, we have to sell the family house, and I have to find a new roof over my head, possibly even move to another state, which doesn't charm me. Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow to you and yours and your cats, from me, my artist friends and their cats and my cats!
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Well thanks for all the kind comments and cat conversation! I hope all goes well for you as well, and you can get through all of your struggles. Happy Valentine's Day!
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with prisms of snow, lit falling and free;
That cover the world like shifting white sand.
I love that imagery. This is a beautiful piece! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you show your work here.
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Paloszoo has asked me to co-judge with an eye to form so this comment is centred on form, my opinion of the rest won't count in the judging
There are a huge number of variations on the "Rondel" the key being only two rhymes and the repeats, I have never (until coming to AP and reading a Rondel by Amera encountered the Rondel in the form that shadowpoetry gives but since that is the definition you gave I shall assess it against that, the only pick I would have here is that you have "slanted" rhymes eg hands/planned. That apart perfectly to the quoted form.
An enjoyable poem, but that's not my job here
Jeff
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I like this very much
---Janette -
Very moving...loved the analogy of snow and white sand, the tea and just skating around the ice...wonderful and captivating.
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