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Fruits of Temptation

I would rather starve
than bite into your fruit of temptation
yet every day
I have considered throwing everything away
for just one more day, hour, minute, second with you
how have you come to acquire such a hold on me?
could it be that I have already taken a bite?

Author notes

Just a little more venting through some terribly written poetry. I have never liked freewrite, and I'm not sure I like it much more now, but it comes in handy when I just need to say somethign without having to worry about trying to make it rhyme.


for a contest-3) “Candy-coating the truth can put a smile on my face
But it gets erased every time I think of you”

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Dryad Enya
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    Adam and Eve in the Garden of God comes to mind here. Poor Eve took a bite from the apple and she and Adam had everything they needed because God gave it to them, she was weak, she gave into temptation and took the apple. The one thing God told them not to she did.

    Temptation will always be our only fear, we will succumb to it one day and that day is the day we lose ourselves to thoughts and danger.
    Brillaint write, best of luck in the contest
    Gorecki


  • melodytcromer
    August 14
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I really liked this and you are very talented to be honest Good Luck in the contest


  • Fail-me-not
    August 14
    Edit | Reply

    Rich

    So full of energy im likin it, well done.


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is a pretty good piece. I can definately relate to it! I like it. I wish you the best of luck in the contests. Keep up your amazing work!!!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • Kathraina silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done with this piece!
    I like the concept you've used here.
    Good job invoking strong emotions, and nicely done with the flow and imagery.
    Bravo


    ♥ Kate


  • dutch2lips gold member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    sounds like you have sneaked a tiny bite thank you for entering


  • Beauty Of Silence
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    hmm this is interesting, and yea, pretty angsty! its good you got it all out, but i think this lacks description and color. its like a good sketch. gives me a rough mental idea, but i feel like this has the potential to be something way better. thanks for the entry anways


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is so very strong, it has a gritty sense to it, straight talking, yet creatively done
    thanks for a really satisfying read

1 - 8 of 8